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Sync and corrections by explosiveskull
www.addic7ed.com
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(DOOR CREAKING)
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(LIGHT SWITCH CLICKS)
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(CHAIRS SQUEAK)
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(ZIPPING)
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- GEETA: Do you want me to hold this so you...
- RAVI: No, that's fine...
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But we both need to talk into it so
maybe, put it in the middle of us.
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Wait, not with your headphones because
you're going to be yelling otherwise.
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- GEETA: Oh, right.
- RAVI: You got your headphones on
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- and you got this thing in your hand...
- (GEETA CHUCKLING)
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...and you're like,
"I'll hold this."
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(FURNITURE CREAKING)
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(SWITCHING ON THE LIGHT)
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(BEEPING)
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How do we, uh, how do we wanna do this?
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Do you wanna... should I just...
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GEETA: Just, just start at
the beginning of the story.
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Right, so...
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(SIGHS)
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So you know, when I think
about our extended family
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- I always felt like growing up, I was the odd man out.
- GEETA: Mmm-hmm.
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But now I think it's all relative.
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Like, you know, my entire life,
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I got made fun of for having a big nose.
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People called me Gonzo.
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So I always thought this nose was
kind of my obstacle to greatness.
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(KIDS LAUGHING)
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And then recently, I was
getting fitted for a hat
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- as an actor.
- GEETA: Mmm-hmm.
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RAVI: And the guy goes...
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"You have an unusually small head."
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- After all these years, I find out that my nose was perfect.
- (BELL RINGS)
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It was my head that was small!
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GEETA: Wait, how did...
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RAVI: See what I'm saying? So like,
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you know, like, in
terms of the family
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maybe I'm not the one
who's out of place,
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maybe it was an analogy... (MUMBLES)
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GEETA: Rav, can you just get...
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Start the story. So, start,
start it with the trip to India.
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Right. So, story starts two years ago.
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- (FRAME CHANGE SOUND)
- Here in LA,
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I had just broken up with Audrey
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and I was miserable.
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We'd been together for two years
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and I had never told
Mom and Dad about her,
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- in fact, they were freaking out
- (BEEPING)
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- because you know, here I was, almost thirty, never married,
- (WHOOPING)
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which in our culture is like...
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- GEETA: Code red.
- RAVI: Code red!
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And to make things worse,
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two weeks after this breakup,
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I had to go on our annual
family trip to India.
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MOM: My dear, when are
you going to get married?
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DAD: You know, the later
you show up to a restaurant,
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the more limited the menu.
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MOM: My prince, you're killing us.
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RAVI: Zone two? No?
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MOM: Do you want us to die
without the grandchildren?
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DAD: You know, Champa, I don't
even think he wants to get married!
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Don't do what Geeta did to us.
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MOM: You and your sister
can't live together forever!
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(SEAT BUCKLE SOUND CHIMES)
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DAD: If he wanted to
get married... (SCOFFS)
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He would be married!
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(MUSIC PLAYING)
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RAVI: You know that
girl in Eat, Pray, Love,
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you know, she goes
through a break-up,
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goes on the existential
journey to India
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to get over depression,
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find out what she
really wanted in life?
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- I was that girl.
- (FLUTE MUSIC PLAYING)
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Except, my family was
with me the entire time.
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(MOM AND DAD SINGING)
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RAVI: The entire time.
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- MOM: Let's go, Geeta!
- RAVI: Geets, come on!
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(LAUGHING)
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MOM: Ahhh!
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Oh, you have to buy one now,
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the guy's been working...
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(SPEAKING IN GUJARATI)
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MOM: Four, five.
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- Hey!
- (CHUCKLING)
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RAVI: I look too sexy for this.
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(DAD SPEAKING)
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RAVI: And behind the
camera was you, sister.
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GEETA: Yeah.
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RAVI: Documentary filmmaker, but
by no means a cinematographer.
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That's why for the
next hour and a half,
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we will be treated to
footage that is out of focus,
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poorly framed,
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and often has a microphone in
the upper right hand corner.
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We are having a great time with the family.
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Next time, we are going to
come with the grandchildren.
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RAVI: Here's the thing.
In Mom and Dad's eyes,
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I had never had a girlfriend
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and I had no idea how
to get a girlfriend.
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GEETA: Right.
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RAVI: So in their mind, it's like,
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"Hey, we're going to
India, it's our last chance
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"and maybe we can get him to
get married the way we did."
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DAD: Why do our marriages
survive at a higher rate
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than the American marriage
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when you say, "I have
to be falling in love,
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"and it has to click."
Where you know the girl
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for a year or two the way Americans do
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and still 50% of the marriages fail,
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- the reason is compatibility, value, the belief.
- MOM: Yeah.
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Like we got married, me and Mom,
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I only talked to her 10 minutes.
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Does that mean you think
that works for me as well?
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- Absolutely!
- MOM: Absolutely.
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- DAD: If you ask me, 100%, I believe...
- MOM: Yeah.
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...from the bottom of the
heart, not even a doubt.
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Everything affects our thinking and liking
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whether you are going to put
up with the person or not,
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if your, if her food habits are different.
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Food habits is the first reason?
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No, no, I'm giving you a reason at random.
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You want to focus on a girl
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who has same value in the life
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and have been raised same way you have,
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and especially keeping in
mind the religion is same.
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DAD: Now, we're not saying
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every Indian family is good for you.
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That is why we select.
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RAVI: You had to check the
family and the background
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because you only get 10
minutes to meet the person.
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Whereas I'm saying, you date the person.
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- You get a better sense of who a person is...
- MOM: No, no, no...
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...by spending time with that person
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than by finding out who their family is.
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- That's why there's a matchmaking.
- MOM: Aha!
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If this girl is good with that boy
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but that boy is good with this girl,
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so everybody is good,
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everybody gets married at the end.
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All the girls and all the boys get married.
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What would be the downside
of me marrying a white girl?
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A white girl, a white girl?
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Let's say American, let's
say a white American girl.
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(AUNT SPEAKING)
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RAVI: Here's where it
gets a little tricky...
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I have a huge family,
all last name Patel.
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And here's the thing, they're
all married to Patels.
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See, these are the
rules of being a Patel,
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you're supposed to marry
someone who's also named Patel.
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Now, it's not incest. It's...
it's like a caste thing.
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It means... uh,
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that they're from this
small little region of India.
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Where we come from,
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actually our hometown's
probably, I want to say 90%...
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Eighty to 90% Patel...
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...is Patels.
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The story starts she's from Anand.
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I am from Dharmaj.
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My brother got married to her sister.
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I was only 18, she was 14.
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(LAUGHS)
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We decided that both families, you know,
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liked each other.
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And then we were told that we are going to
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meet each other at this person's house
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and our parents were waiting outside
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and we went in the room
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and given five minutes to take care of it.
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We had a guy in the middle of
us so there's no hanky-panky.
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In India,
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the girls don't have much
of a say in those days.
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Girls have to get married
to who their parents say,
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so I said, "No, that's not fair."
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I said, "If you have anything in your mind,
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"you want to marry
someone else, let me know,
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"and I will say no.
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"So that way, you don't have to say no."
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I went back and told my family,
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I said, "This is the girl I want to marry."
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It took five minutes though... Right?
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We never said anything, just
hi, hello, and that's it.
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GEETA: Let's get married.
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And let's get married.
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(DAD SPEAKING)
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- RAVI: Right.
- DAD: Right?
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And I'm supposed to get a girl from where?
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Ideally.
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DAD: It's a triangle. That
would be ideal for Patel.
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RAVI: Uh-huh.
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(ROOSTERS CAWING)
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RAVI: So if I found a girl from this,
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- Kapadvanj in Kheda...
- Hmm.
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Oh, you're shaking your head
already, that's way too far?
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How far apart do they have
to be for it to be justified?
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Well, usually there should be no relation.
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Because everyone is probably still,
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a lot of these people
are probably still related
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way down the road.
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I'm pretty sure they are at some point,
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but I don't know that much history of it.
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RAVI: Before we go any further,
let me just take you back.
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(MOVIE CLIP) Take it from
the top, one, two, three...
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RAVI: India 1945, Dad
entered the world.
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Twenty-two years later,
Dad's entire village
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pooled their money to
send him to America.
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DAD: You know I came to America
with eight dollars in my pocket?
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- That's all, that's all I had.
- (WHOOPING)
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Look at me now.
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RAVI: 1967, Dad enrolled
at Michigan Tech.
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He and six other guys from India
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shared one room and
one bank account.
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DAD: You know, I had to look up
every word in the dictionary,
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every word.
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Having a weak English lexicon left me feeling
lugubrious, acrimonious, cantankerous.
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I'm sorry, am I being superfluous?
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Look at me now!
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- RAVI: 1972, Dad's dad called him and told him...
- (PHONE RINGS)
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It's time to get married!
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RAVI: Dad flew to India,
got an arranged marriage,
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came back with Mom.
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DAD: You know some people they date,
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then they get married?
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We did it opposite. (LAUGHING)
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Look at me now.
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RAVI: I don't know
how they fell in love,
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but they are the happiest
couple I've ever seen.
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- 1975, you were born...
- GEETA: Yup.
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RAVI: Three years later, I was born.
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I had a very happy childhood,
but the older I got,
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the more I lived a double life.
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00:10:01,932 --> 00:10:04,300
At home, I was Indian
Ravi, I spoke Gujarati,
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hung out with Indians,
I watched Indian movies.
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00:10:06,872 --> 00:10:09,207
(INDIAN MOVIE CLIP)
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RAVI: Outside the house,
I was American Ravi.
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Hi, Ma!
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00:10:15,013 --> 00:10:16,914
I spoke English, hung
out with Americans,
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watched American movies...
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00:10:18,450 --> 00:10:21,252
(AMERICAN MOVIE CLIP)
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00:10:29,927 --> 00:10:33,531
RAVI: My, my dating
history is short.
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Growing up, dating wasn't allowed.
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00:10:35,300 --> 00:10:36,800
In fact, if a girl
ever called the house,
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- there was an interrogation afterwards.
- GEETA: Right.
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RAVI: The expectations were clear,
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I was gonna have a
perfect Indian wife.
243
00:10:41,540 --> 00:10:43,907
She'd be a wonderful
mother, a great cook,
244
00:10:43,908 --> 00:10:45,910
that was the plan.
245
00:10:45,911 --> 00:10:47,377
So I was shocked
246
00:10:47,378 --> 00:10:49,412
when the first girl I
really fell for was...
247
00:10:49,413 --> 00:10:52,049
Hey, we're on hayride.
248
00:10:52,050 --> 00:10:53,917
RAVI: A redhead from Connecticut.
249
00:10:53,918 --> 00:10:56,921
AUDREY: (SINGING) ♪ Doe,
a dear a female deer. ♪
250
00:10:56,922 --> 00:11:00,456
RAVI: Audrey was my first
and only girlfriend, ever.
251
00:11:00,457 --> 00:11:02,392
Okay, I look a little weird
252
00:11:02,393 --> 00:11:04,395
because, um, I'm on night vision.
253
00:11:04,396 --> 00:11:08,464
We're gonna get in trouble!
You're really high up!
254
00:11:08,465 --> 00:11:11,068
RAVI: You know, we
were pretty serious.
255
00:11:11,069 --> 00:11:14,137
Um, Madonna, Snoop Doggy Dog,
oh, he's a, he's a painter,
256
00:11:14,138 --> 00:11:15,439
he's a computer guy?
257
00:11:15,440 --> 00:11:17,307
(OTHERS LAUGHING)
258
00:11:17,308 --> 00:11:19,410
(LAUGHING) What?
259
00:11:19,411 --> 00:11:21,377
RAVI: She has so many
amazing qualities.
260
00:11:21,378 --> 00:11:23,046
I mean, just that she could
dance at a drop of a hat
261
00:11:23,047 --> 00:11:24,281
for no reason.
262
00:11:24,282 --> 00:11:25,849
She has a lot of sensibilities
263
00:11:25,850 --> 00:11:26,751
that most 50-year-old
mothers have...
264
00:11:26,752 --> 00:11:28,252
She loves a good how-to book.
265
00:11:28,253 --> 00:11:29,753
- Any puppy videos...
- GEETA: Aww.
266
00:11:29,754 --> 00:11:31,189
RAVI: If there's a video
online where people are crying,
267
00:11:31,190 --> 00:11:34,592
- she's watching it and she's crying too.
- (GEETA LAUGHS)
268
00:11:34,593 --> 00:11:36,326
I mean, we were
together for two years,
269
00:11:36,327 --> 00:11:38,161
and it definitely felt like,
270
00:11:38,162 --> 00:11:42,099
"Okay, it's time to tell Mom
and Dad that she exists."
271
00:11:42,100 --> 00:11:43,934
AUDREY: That was good, right?
272
00:11:43,935 --> 00:11:46,536
But somehow, there was still
something else inside me,
273
00:11:46,537 --> 00:11:49,373
like in my gut, that just didn't sit well,
274
00:11:49,374 --> 00:11:51,307
and I didn't really know what it was.
275
00:11:51,308 --> 00:11:53,477
Is there a term for it, the Indian Problem?
276
00:11:53,478 --> 00:11:57,013
I said, "Look, I just can't
live this double life anymore.
277
00:11:57,014 --> 00:11:59,382
"You know, I... I can't hide
this relationship from my parents,
278
00:11:59,383 --> 00:12:01,484
"it's not fair to you or them."
279
00:12:01,485 --> 00:12:05,256
And I, I don't know, I
just couldn't do it anymore.
280
00:12:05,257 --> 00:12:07,190
So...
281
00:12:07,191 --> 00:12:09,193
We broke up.
282
00:12:12,129 --> 00:12:14,398
(DAD SPEAKING)
283
00:12:21,538 --> 00:12:24,174
It's not the idea of marrying
a girl that's a problem,
284
00:12:24,175 --> 00:12:26,410
I, 100%, I would get married...
285
00:12:26,411 --> 00:12:29,412
You know, I'm 29, I want to be married,
286
00:12:29,413 --> 00:12:31,949
but for me specifically, I don't want to...
287
00:12:31,950 --> 00:12:34,285
You know, doing it like a job interview.
288
00:12:34,286 --> 00:12:37,021
(DAD SPEAKING)
289
00:12:37,022 --> 00:12:38,256
RAVI: In a best-case scenario,
290
00:12:38,257 --> 00:12:39,956
I think I could marry a girl
six months after meeting her.
291
00:12:39,957 --> 00:12:42,259
(DAD SPEAKING)
292
00:12:47,431 --> 00:12:48,531
Hey, that was different though, man.
293
00:12:48,532 --> 00:12:51,200
DAD: No, no, no, no.
294
00:12:51,201 --> 00:12:52,335
RAVI: I know the process!
295
00:12:52,336 --> 00:12:54,371
DAD: No, no, no, no.
296
00:13:21,231 --> 00:13:23,233
RAVI: Right.
297
00:13:37,548 --> 00:13:40,417
It gets me stressed out
just thinking about it.
298
00:13:41,686 --> 00:13:43,252
I think I just never questioned
299
00:13:43,253 --> 00:13:45,321
that I would find the girl I want
300
00:13:45,322 --> 00:13:48,425
and I would find her in kind
of a normal, American way,
301
00:13:48,426 --> 00:13:50,026
like in the movies...
302
00:13:50,027 --> 00:13:51,661
- Ray!
- Excuse me
303
00:13:51,662 --> 00:13:53,296
- RAVI: In the middle of nowhere...
- Can I help you?
304
00:13:53,297 --> 00:13:55,366
RAVI: it would be romantic...
305
00:13:55,367 --> 00:13:57,267
You complete me...
306
00:13:57,268 --> 00:13:59,369
You had me at hello...
307
00:13:59,370 --> 00:14:01,271
RAVI: And I wouldn't need
my parents to do it for me,
308
00:14:01,272 --> 00:14:03,272
cause it's pathetic!
309
00:14:03,273 --> 00:14:05,342
- I mean, they're setting up the dates.
- Right.
310
00:14:05,343 --> 00:14:06,676
In my case, they're probably,
texting me in the middle of it.
311
00:14:06,677 --> 00:14:08,579
GEETA: And then you're waiting to find out
312
00:14:08,580 --> 00:14:09,412
whether you get a second date,
313
00:14:09,413 --> 00:14:11,714
not from her but from Mom and Dad.
314
00:14:11,715 --> 00:14:14,350
From Mom and Dad.
315
00:14:14,351 --> 00:14:16,652
It's like, it's like exactly the
relationship I have with my acting agents.
316
00:14:16,653 --> 00:14:19,390
RAVI: Like they'll call
me up and be like...
317
00:14:19,391 --> 00:14:21,791
RAVI: (IN MOM'S VOICE) My prince,
my prince, darling, baby, good news.
318
00:14:21,792 --> 00:14:24,161
Talked to Seema's parents,
319
00:14:24,162 --> 00:14:28,132
looks like they want to
bring you in for a callback!
320
00:14:28,133 --> 00:14:29,733
Vasant, coffee!
321
00:14:29,734 --> 00:14:31,368
So here's the deal, it's
going to be Friday night,
322
00:14:31,369 --> 00:14:32,770
you're going to take her to Chinese.
323
00:14:32,771 --> 00:14:35,772
Now listen, they love
you. Don't do anything new.
324
00:14:35,773 --> 00:14:37,174
Same stuff.
325
00:14:37,175 --> 00:14:38,342
Nothing tricky,
326
00:14:38,343 --> 00:14:41,110
we're hearing it's between
you and two guys named Raj.
327
00:14:41,111 --> 00:14:43,347
All right? Oh and, hey, Ravi, good luck,
328
00:14:43,348 --> 00:14:45,382
don't blow it. Hit the girls.
329
00:14:45,383 --> 00:14:47,451
(INDIAN MUSIC PLAYING)
330
00:14:53,725 --> 00:14:56,727
- GEETA: So the next stop was Dad's village.
- RAVI: Right...
331
00:14:56,728 --> 00:15:00,129
There's literally a pile
of crap everywhere you go,
332
00:15:00,130 --> 00:15:03,233
- they need to figure out how to potty-train the cows, right?
- (MOM LAUGHING)
333
00:15:03,234 --> 00:15:05,835
RAVI: Dad's village is like
the belly of the beast.
334
00:15:05,836 --> 00:15:07,371
GEETA: Right, cause we
are related to everybody.
335
00:15:07,372 --> 00:15:10,541
RAVI: Yeah, and they all
immediately had one question...
336
00:15:21,853 --> 00:15:23,853
RAVI: Imagine the most
annoying person in your family,
337
00:15:23,854 --> 00:15:25,321
who's kinda always in your business,
338
00:15:25,322 --> 00:15:26,656
asking all sorts of questions
339
00:15:26,657 --> 00:15:29,593
and you're trying to just
get out of the situation.
340
00:15:29,594 --> 00:15:32,196
Now imagine an entire village
filled with that person.
341
00:15:36,768 --> 00:15:38,435
RAVI: Like in The Matrix,
you know where that bad guy
342
00:15:38,436 --> 00:15:41,471
is, like, multiplying
over and over again.
343
00:15:48,312 --> 00:15:50,247
RAVI: Dad's one of the most
respected people I know,
344
00:15:50,248 --> 00:15:52,748
but Mom might be an even bigger deal
345
00:15:52,749 --> 00:15:56,220
because she is known
as a matchmaker.
346
00:16:08,166 --> 00:16:09,499
RAVI: So it's a huge
failure in Mom's eyes
347
00:16:09,500 --> 00:16:11,634
that her own kids aren't married,
348
00:16:11,635 --> 00:16:14,271
and she's the best in the business.
349
00:16:14,272 --> 00:16:16,541
(MUSIC PLAYING)
350
00:16:21,378 --> 00:16:23,847
RAVI: December's actually
wedding season in India,
351
00:16:23,848 --> 00:16:25,148
meaning Indians from
all over the world
352
00:16:25,149 --> 00:16:27,517
come to India, not just
to meet each other, but...
353
00:16:27,518 --> 00:16:29,719
- GEETA: To marry... Yeah.
- RAVI: To marry each other.
354
00:16:29,720 --> 00:16:31,855
RAVI: Everyone except for us.
355
00:16:50,807 --> 00:16:52,777
No.
356
00:16:58,282 --> 00:17:00,316
No.
357
00:17:00,317 --> 00:17:02,486
Wow!
358
00:17:04,522 --> 00:17:06,523
(DAD SPEAKING)
359
00:17:53,804 --> 00:17:56,339
When too many people like us
360
00:17:56,340 --> 00:18:01,544
are telling you that, my
prince, this thing works,
361
00:18:01,545 --> 00:18:07,783
at least you need to close
your eyes, one day, for 24 hours
362
00:18:07,784 --> 00:18:11,021
and think, all these
people are telling you.
363
00:18:11,022 --> 00:18:13,823
And think that there could be some truth.
364
00:18:13,824 --> 00:18:14,992
DAD: The whole world cannot be wrong.
365
00:18:14,993 --> 00:18:17,727
MOM: Yeah, the whole world
cannot be wrong, my prince.
366
00:18:27,571 --> 00:18:29,907
(APPLAUSE)
367
00:18:31,676 --> 00:18:34,311
(MUSIC PLAYING)
368
00:18:54,932 --> 00:18:56,934
(MOM SPEAKING ON MIC)
369
00:20:00,031 --> 00:20:03,833
RAVI: I remember sitting there, and
I'm looking at Mom and Dad on stage
370
00:20:03,834 --> 00:20:07,436
and, you know, this charity,
that... And this whole event
371
00:20:07,437 --> 00:20:09,806
which is put on just
because of their own efforts
372
00:20:09,807 --> 00:20:12,975
and, you know, it reminded me
just how much I love our family
373
00:20:12,976 --> 00:20:15,111
and how much I love our culture.
374
00:20:15,112 --> 00:20:16,280
GEETA: Where we're from.
375
00:20:16,281 --> 00:20:18,147
RAVI: Yeah, you know,
when I have kids,
376
00:20:18,148 --> 00:20:20,916
I kinda wanted them to
have the same feeling,
377
00:20:20,917 --> 00:20:22,418
the same experience.
378
00:20:22,419 --> 00:20:23,686
GEETA: And grow up the way we did.
379
00:20:23,687 --> 00:20:25,621
RAVI: Yeah, and go on
trips like, like these.
380
00:20:25,622 --> 00:20:27,524
GEETA: Yeah.
381
00:20:29,560 --> 00:20:32,729
RAVI: And that's when it
all became clear to me that,
382
00:20:32,730 --> 00:20:36,599
you know, maybe that's why
I had broken up with Audrey,
383
00:20:36,600 --> 00:20:40,003
because, you know, I wanted this.
384
00:20:47,878 --> 00:20:49,780
(RAVI SPEAKING IN GUJARATI)
385
00:21:25,917 --> 00:21:28,885
So what happened? What changed your mind?
386
00:21:28,886 --> 00:21:31,087
I guess I had this realization that...
387
00:21:31,088 --> 00:21:33,924
whenever in my head I imagined
who it was that I was gonna marry,
388
00:21:33,925 --> 00:21:35,291
it was this Indian girl.
389
00:21:35,292 --> 00:21:38,662
Yet, here I was, almost 30
and I hadn't found one yet,
390
00:21:38,663 --> 00:21:40,563
and I started doing the math.
391
00:21:40,564 --> 00:21:41,764
I mean, when we were
in India, it was like,
392
00:21:41,765 --> 00:21:42,866
looking around, there's
Indians everywhere,
393
00:21:42,867 --> 00:21:44,166
those guys have it easy.
394
00:21:44,167 --> 00:21:45,836
(CHUCKLES) But I live in America,
395
00:21:45,837 --> 00:21:47,503
and here I am looking
for an Indian girl,
396
00:21:47,504 --> 00:21:49,638
who's Gujarati, and
Patel more specifically.
397
00:21:49,639 --> 00:21:51,174
- GEETA: And single.
- RAVI: And female, by the way,
398
00:21:51,175 --> 00:21:52,274
and all these other normal things
399
00:21:52,275 --> 00:21:55,712
that people look for,
cute, smart, funny.
400
00:21:55,713 --> 00:21:56,847
GEETA: And she has to love you.
401
00:21:56,848 --> 00:21:58,647
She has to love me,
I have to love her,
402
00:21:58,648 --> 00:22:00,349
we have to find each other.
403
00:22:00,350 --> 00:22:02,752
- I mean, there's a lot of odds stacked against me.
- GEETA: Right.
404
00:22:02,753 --> 00:22:05,655
And then here Dad was saying, "Trust me,
405
00:22:05,656 --> 00:22:07,523
"this is gonna work," and
I was like, ya know what?
406
00:22:07,524 --> 00:22:08,925
- Maybe, maybe I'm being close-minded.
- GEETA: Right.
407
00:22:08,926 --> 00:22:10,860
This system has worked
408
00:22:10,861 --> 00:22:12,963
for so many people...
People that are like me.
409
00:22:12,964 --> 00:22:16,832
- (RANDOM COMMOTION, LAUGHTER)
- I'm so happy!
410
00:22:16,833 --> 00:22:18,869
(UNCLE SPEAKING)
411
00:22:23,741 --> 00:22:25,608
(DAD SPEAKING IN GUJARATI)
412
00:22:25,609 --> 00:22:27,844
(LAUGHTER)
413
00:22:30,947 --> 00:22:34,283
(LAUGHTER)
414
00:22:34,284 --> 00:22:35,585
Little punk.
415
00:22:35,586 --> 00:22:36,953
(JINGLE BELLS SONG PLAYING)
416
00:22:36,954 --> 00:22:42,591
♪ Dashing through the snow
In a one-horse open sleigh
417
00:22:42,592 --> 00:22:48,197
♪ O'er the fields we
go Laughing all the way
418
00:22:48,198 --> 00:22:53,602
♪ Bells on bob-tail
ring Making spirits bright
419
00:22:53,603 --> 00:23:00,210
♪ What fun it is to ride and
sing a sleighing song tonight ♪
420
00:23:00,211 --> 00:23:02,311
NADINE: National Lampoon Comedy
Radio XM 154, back in the studio,
421
00:23:02,312 --> 00:23:05,115
uh, people aren't normally
invited back so quickly
422
00:23:05,116 --> 00:23:10,753
but I... I love him, I do,
uh Ravi Patel, welcome back.
423
00:23:10,754 --> 00:23:12,121
RAVI: I have missed you so.
424
00:23:12,122 --> 00:23:13,056
NADINE: You're first generation?
425
00:23:13,057 --> 00:23:14,023
I'm first generation,
426
00:23:14,024 --> 00:23:16,292
you know, it's a generally strict culture,
427
00:23:16,293 --> 00:23:17,595
specifically the kind of Indian
that I am, which is Gujarati.
428
00:23:17,596 --> 00:23:20,664
I'd say about 50% of the
Indians that you meet in America
429
00:23:20,665 --> 00:23:23,233
are Gujarati, Patels, Patel's a very com...
430
00:23:23,234 --> 00:23:24,568
There are... I know a lot of Patels.
431
00:23:24,569 --> 00:23:26,136
RAVI: Yeah, Patel's very common,
432
00:23:26,137 --> 00:23:29,339
- like, my name, Ravi Patel is like John Smith.
- (LAUGHS) Right!
433
00:23:29,340 --> 00:23:32,341
Patels are hardcore, and
there's so many of you.
434
00:23:32,342 --> 00:23:34,243
They're useless vegetarians,
435
00:23:34,244 --> 00:23:36,846
you're physically small humans.
436
00:23:36,847 --> 00:23:38,814
The first word that
came to mind was "cheap."
437
00:23:38,815 --> 00:23:40,951
Patels own motels or own hotels
438
00:23:40,952 --> 00:23:42,851
or, you know, 7-Elevens.
439
00:23:42,852 --> 00:23:44,119
RAVI: If I pay to stay somewhere,
440
00:23:44,120 --> 00:23:47,122
it's purely as a result of me
not making enough phone calls.
441
00:23:47,123 --> 00:23:50,225
You know, it's really like
Gujarati people in America are
442
00:23:50,226 --> 00:23:53,062
often the working class
in India that came over.
443
00:23:53,063 --> 00:23:58,601
I came to America actually in December '67.
444
00:24:03,240 --> 00:24:07,244
(SPIRIT IN THE SKY SONG PLAYING )
445
00:24:19,255 --> 00:24:23,092
When our children came to a marriage age,
446
00:24:23,093 --> 00:24:27,797
there was a need for
some kind of matchmaking,
447
00:24:27,798 --> 00:24:29,064
girl to a boy.
448
00:24:29,065 --> 00:24:31,835
This book gives the names and addresses
449
00:24:31,836 --> 00:24:34,037
of all the 24 villages.
450
00:24:34,038 --> 00:24:37,741
- And these are all Patels! All Patels.
- Oh yeah. All Patels.
451
00:24:37,742 --> 00:24:39,775
DAD: Problem is, all
the Patels who came,
452
00:24:39,776 --> 00:24:43,379
they are spread all over
50 states in America.
453
00:24:43,380 --> 00:24:46,383
How do you still follow the same system
454
00:24:46,384 --> 00:24:49,886
that was workable back
home in the small area
455
00:24:49,887 --> 00:24:50,986
but not workable here
456
00:24:50,987 --> 00:24:54,924
because of the geographic,
you know, the distance.
457
00:24:54,925 --> 00:24:56,259
So what happened?
458
00:24:56,260 --> 00:24:59,263
RAVI: What happened is
they invented the bio-data.
459
00:25:01,831 --> 00:25:04,000
The bio-data is a sheet
of paper, like a resume,
460
00:25:04,001 --> 00:25:05,100
that the parents pass around
461
00:25:05,101 --> 00:25:07,404
to help them make
an informed decision
462
00:25:07,405 --> 00:25:08,972
when they're making matches.
463
00:25:08,973 --> 00:25:10,706
RAJ: Nobody writes
their own bio-data.
464
00:25:10,707 --> 00:25:12,242
It's done by committee
465
00:25:12,243 --> 00:25:14,910
and it's a very rosy picture of yourself
466
00:25:14,911 --> 00:25:17,246
that really isn't you.
467
00:25:17,247 --> 00:25:20,316
I never gave my mom an
actual physical bio-data,
468
00:25:20,317 --> 00:25:22,252
I refused, I was like,
469
00:25:22,253 --> 00:25:25,855
I'm not going to resume
myself out on a piece of paper,
470
00:25:25,856 --> 00:25:27,322
and she's like, "Give me a resume,"
471
00:25:27,323 --> 00:25:28,957
and so I sent her my work resume.
472
00:25:28,958 --> 00:25:30,193
I've never seen mine,
473
00:25:30,194 --> 00:25:32,262
I've never, 'cause I
just don't want to know.
474
00:25:32,263 --> 00:25:35,064
I go to a wedding and I run into this lady.
475
00:25:35,065 --> 00:25:37,466
She's like, "Oh, my God,
come sit down next to me,
476
00:25:37,467 --> 00:25:39,735
"you are just... you're so wonderful,
477
00:25:39,736 --> 00:25:41,404
"and gosh, you know, had your dad
478
00:25:41,405 --> 00:25:43,439
"sent a better picture of you,
479
00:25:43,440 --> 00:25:44,741
- "you could have been my daughter-in-law."
- (LAUGHING LOUDLY)
480
00:25:44,742 --> 00:25:45,841
And I'm like...
481
00:25:45,842 --> 00:25:47,277
RAVI: Here's what's on my bio-data,
482
00:25:47,278 --> 00:25:49,945
date of birth, height, weight,
483
00:25:49,946 --> 00:25:52,982
occupation, education, hobbies,
484
00:25:52,983 --> 00:25:54,050
and then there's stuff
I have no interest in,
485
00:25:54,051 --> 00:25:56,319
like parent's location
and work history,
486
00:25:56,320 --> 00:25:58,420
sibling location and work history,
487
00:25:58,421 --> 00:26:01,224
horoscope, caste, skin complexion,
488
00:26:01,225 --> 00:26:02,259
there's "wheatish brown,"
489
00:26:02,260 --> 00:26:04,194
I think I've seen "almond brown."
490
00:26:04,195 --> 00:26:05,762
It's like the lighter you are,
491
00:26:05,763 --> 00:26:06,862
the more attractive you are.
492
00:26:06,863 --> 00:26:09,299
They talk about the homely,
wheatish complexion girl,
493
00:26:09,300 --> 00:26:10,766
I mean, it's a running joke.
494
00:26:10,767 --> 00:26:12,935
Well, one, the word homely is used wrong.
495
00:26:12,936 --> 00:26:14,337
Hey, Hasmukh, what's up?
496
00:26:14,338 --> 00:26:16,772
Listen, got your daughter's bio-data,
497
00:26:16,773 --> 00:26:20,976
oh, great job, I mean, PhD. Really?
498
00:26:20,977 --> 00:26:23,012
Okay, see, here's the thing.
499
00:26:23,013 --> 00:26:27,349
Um, Raj is more of a wheatish brown,
500
00:26:27,350 --> 00:26:29,152
he's just, yeah, he's just had a good life,
501
00:26:29,153 --> 00:26:30,919
and we've kept him out
of the sun on purpose.
502
00:26:30,920 --> 00:26:32,955
So good to talk to you,
503
00:26:32,956 --> 00:26:38,027
and good luck with that
dark daughter of yours...
504
00:26:38,028 --> 00:26:40,396
Congrats again on the PhD, great job.
505
00:26:40,397 --> 00:26:42,898
So after I gave Mom
and Dad my bio-data,
506
00:26:42,899 --> 00:26:45,935
they could officially release
it into the marketplace.
507
00:26:45,936 --> 00:26:48,772
Within weeks, my bio-data
was in the hands of uncles,
508
00:26:48,773 --> 00:26:52,775
aunts, family friends
and complete strangers.
509
00:26:52,776 --> 00:26:54,444
Now while my bio-data
was circulating out there
510
00:26:54,445 --> 00:26:55,846
in the marketplace, Mom and Dad
511
00:26:55,847 --> 00:26:59,249
were simultaneously receiving
other people's bio-datas.
512
00:26:59,250 --> 00:27:01,451
Then what they do is filter
them based on what type of women
513
00:27:01,452 --> 00:27:03,118
they think would be
a good fit for me.
514
00:27:03,119 --> 00:27:06,089
Looks good, so I'm going to
forward this to Ravi, okay?
515
00:27:06,090 --> 00:27:07,991
RAVI: And by the end of January,
516
00:27:07,992 --> 00:27:10,326
I got my first batch of bio-datas.
517
00:27:10,327 --> 00:27:12,494
Dad sent me 20 bio-datas,
518
00:27:12,495 --> 00:27:15,298
so basically, 20 pictures and resumes
519
00:27:15,299 --> 00:27:20,102
of matrimonial candidates,
which is totally normal. Right?
520
00:27:20,103 --> 00:27:21,905
This is the one I like the most,
521
00:27:21,906 --> 00:27:26,509
she's 28, she's 5'4", 124 pounds...
522
00:27:26,510 --> 00:27:29,378
Is she getting one of these of you?
523
00:27:29,379 --> 00:27:31,214
RAVI: I would imagine, yeah.
524
00:27:31,215 --> 00:27:33,849
And can she also veto
or give the thumbs-up?
525
00:27:33,850 --> 00:27:34,885
Yeah, this is her preferences,
526
00:27:34,886 --> 00:27:36,452
oh, they have a preferences
section at the bottom.
527
00:27:36,453 --> 00:27:38,288
- MERI: Ooh!
- "Hindu, Gujarati speaking,
528
00:27:38,289 --> 00:27:41,057
"must have moderate family
and religious values.
529
00:27:41,058 --> 00:27:44,061
"Preferences: Academic
or professional career."
530
00:27:45,262 --> 00:27:47,996
- I don't know how I got this.
- (LAUGHTER)
531
00:27:47,997 --> 00:27:50,399
Now, phone-call phase is,
it's straight up cold-calling,
532
00:27:50,400 --> 00:27:52,601
"Hey, my name is Ravi,
533
00:27:52,602 --> 00:27:55,437
"my mother Champa
gave me your bio-data,
534
00:27:55,438 --> 00:27:58,340
"which was given to her by Kokila-bhen
535
00:27:58,341 --> 00:28:00,475
"who was given to her by Mahendra-bhai
536
00:28:00,476 --> 00:28:03,579
"who happens to be your uncle, I think."
537
00:28:03,580 --> 00:28:06,949
(YOU SEXY THING SONG PLAYING)
538
00:28:11,988 --> 00:28:14,357
(GEETA LAUGHING)
539
00:28:17,261 --> 00:28:19,529
I love that I get to watch this.
540
00:28:19,530 --> 00:28:21,496
- This is so weird.
- (GEETA LAUGHING)
541
00:28:21,497 --> 00:28:24,000
I mean, wait, so when I'm talking to you
542
00:28:24,001 --> 00:28:26,869
during the date at some point,
I'm gonna talk to you, right?
543
00:28:26,870 --> 00:28:29,172
GEETA: No, why would you
talk to me during the date?
544
00:28:29,173 --> 00:28:31,340
- Just pretend you're not there the whole time?
- Yeah! What, Ravi...
545
00:28:31,341 --> 00:28:33,509
That's how this is done, I'm supposed
to pretend like you're not there.
546
00:28:33,510 --> 00:28:36,612
GEETA: You're just having a date,
I'm just filming. This whole...
547
00:28:36,613 --> 00:28:37,647
That's not "just anything," that's weird.
548
00:28:37,648 --> 00:28:39,581
That's just weird.
549
00:28:39,582 --> 00:28:41,484
(RAVI SPEAKING)
550
00:28:47,891 --> 00:28:51,093
- I'm a little nervous, this is like uh, really weird.
- (BOTH LAUGHING)
551
00:28:51,094 --> 00:28:53,629
- I'm nervous too, okay, you're not the only one.
- (LAUGHS) Okay, good.
552
00:28:53,630 --> 00:28:55,431
Do you want a drink, by the way?
553
00:28:55,432 --> 00:28:57,332
- Are you gonna get one?
- Yeah.
554
00:28:57,333 --> 00:28:59,502
Like, I've played a doctor like, 30 times.
555
00:28:59,503 --> 00:29:01,370
- Really? Typical.
- Yeah.
556
00:29:01,371 --> 00:29:03,973
- (LAUGHING)
- Yeah, I know, it's the next best thing for my parents.
557
00:29:03,974 --> 00:29:06,341
- I have a lot of um, Asian friends,
- RAVI: Okay.
558
00:29:06,342 --> 00:29:08,511
so we'll go like dinner,
karaoke... It's so much fun.
559
00:29:08,512 --> 00:29:11,147
Wait, hold on, time out, why do
you have so many Asian friends?
560
00:29:11,148 --> 00:29:13,249
Well, I started off as
a computer science major.
561
00:29:13,250 --> 00:29:15,417
I love chocolate, but what girl doesn't?
562
00:29:15,418 --> 00:29:16,685
I'm a big... I'm a big chocolate fan.
563
00:29:16,686 --> 00:29:17,721
You like chocolate too.
564
00:29:17,722 --> 00:29:20,122
My parents love talking
about blood pressure,
565
00:29:20,123 --> 00:29:22,958
forever they've always been talking, BP,
566
00:29:22,959 --> 00:29:26,061
what's your BP? (LAUGHS)
567
00:29:26,062 --> 00:29:28,297
Yeah. (SNIFFS)
568
00:29:34,204 --> 00:29:36,138
GEETA: So what'd you think of her?
569
00:29:37,608 --> 00:29:40,409
I think she's really cool.
I don't know, we'll see.
570
00:29:46,250 --> 00:29:48,016
I don't know, what'd you think?
571
00:29:48,017 --> 00:29:51,087
- You were there, what'd you think?
- (GEETA LAUGHING)
572
00:29:51,088 --> 00:29:52,588
I guess that's the upside...
573
00:29:52,589 --> 00:29:54,490
(BOTH LAUGHING)
574
00:29:54,491 --> 00:29:57,327
...afterwards I can be
like, "So what did you think?
575
00:29:57,328 --> 00:30:00,195
"Should we, uh, should we call her back?"
576
00:30:00,196 --> 00:30:02,431
(BOTH LAUGHING)
577
00:30:05,101 --> 00:30:06,601
"I don't know, Geeta, what do you think?
578
00:30:06,602 --> 00:30:08,070
"I don't know if she's for us."
579
00:30:08,071 --> 00:30:09,973
(BOTH LAUGHING)
580
00:30:16,379 --> 00:30:18,348
RAVI: So, there's this one
time we're on this family trip
581
00:30:18,349 --> 00:30:20,683
driving through Tennessee
in the station wagon,
582
00:30:20,684 --> 00:30:22,318
we had to stop
somewhere for the night.
583
00:30:22,319 --> 00:30:24,553
Of course, we're
Patels, we're cheap,
584
00:30:24,554 --> 00:30:26,688
we always stayed in motels.
585
00:30:26,689 --> 00:30:28,558
Then we get to the motel.
586
00:30:28,559 --> 00:30:31,127
Of course, it's owned by a Patel.
587
00:30:31,128 --> 00:30:33,195
GEETA: That was every trip.
588
00:30:33,196 --> 00:30:35,630
RAVI: Dad looks back
at me with this grin,
589
00:30:35,631 --> 00:30:37,300
'cause he knows he's
hit the jackpot.
590
00:30:37,301 --> 00:30:39,534
Somehow, this is going
to save us money.
591
00:30:39,535 --> 00:30:40,903
He goes in, he goes,
592
00:30:40,904 --> 00:30:42,704
"Hey, you know we need
a room for the night."
593
00:30:42,705 --> 00:30:44,206
The guy looks up.
594
00:30:44,207 --> 00:30:47,310
"Patel?"
595
00:30:47,311 --> 00:30:49,312
"Patel."
596
00:30:51,048 --> 00:30:52,348
RAVI: Next thing I know,
597
00:30:52,349 --> 00:30:53,549
we're having dinner with them.
598
00:30:53,550 --> 00:30:55,550
I remember, I'm like,
laying on the carpet,
599
00:30:55,551 --> 00:30:58,021
like changing channels on
the TV like it's my place.
600
00:30:58,022 --> 00:31:01,691
Dad is talking to this
uncle, who we just met!
601
00:31:01,692 --> 00:31:03,559
GEETA: And it's like they've
known each other forever...
602
00:31:03,560 --> 00:31:05,261
RAVI: Mom's in the kitchen cooking,
603
00:31:05,262 --> 00:31:06,361
you know, making samosas...
604
00:31:06,362 --> 00:31:07,629
GEETA: It was like a family reunion.
605
00:31:07,630 --> 00:31:08,630
RAVI: It was almost as
if we had made the trip
606
00:31:08,631 --> 00:31:10,433
just to see them. And of course,
607
00:31:10,434 --> 00:31:12,268
the next day we leave.
608
00:31:12,269 --> 00:31:14,570
And I don't know that we
ever talked to them again.
609
00:31:14,571 --> 00:31:16,105
GEETA: I don't think we did.
610
00:31:16,106 --> 00:31:17,807
That's what I love about being Patel.
611
00:31:17,808 --> 00:31:20,510
They don't keep score,
they don't count favors.
612
00:31:20,511 --> 00:31:22,145
You are unconditionally
613
00:31:22,146 --> 00:31:24,547
a part of the biggest family in the world.
614
00:31:24,548 --> 00:31:27,750
(PHONE RINGS)
615
00:31:27,751 --> 00:31:29,785
RAVI: Hey, Dad...
616
00:31:29,786 --> 00:31:32,254
(DAD ON PHONE)
617
00:31:32,255 --> 00:31:34,156
RAVI: I'm good. Hey, so listen,
618
00:31:34,157 --> 00:31:37,827
there's a lot of girls from
other parts of the country,
619
00:31:37,828 --> 00:31:41,129
there's a lot of girls from Toronto.
620
00:31:41,130 --> 00:31:44,166
(DAD ON PHONE)
621
00:31:44,167 --> 00:31:46,570
Yeah, that's the problem, like,
what I'm supposed to like...
622
00:31:59,416 --> 00:32:01,283
- (PHONE RINGING)
- (RAVI ON PHONE)
623
00:32:01,284 --> 00:32:03,086
(GEETA ON PHONE)
624
00:32:03,087 --> 00:32:06,321
- (RAVI SPEAKING)
- (GEETA CHUCKLING)
625
00:32:06,322 --> 00:32:08,323
(GEETA AND RAVI ON PHONE)
626
00:32:08,324 --> 00:32:11,260
- (PHONE RINGING)
- (MOM AND RAVI ON PHONE)
627
00:32:15,432 --> 00:32:17,466
(GEETA TALKING)
628
00:32:17,467 --> 00:32:20,070
(RAVI ON PHONE)
629
00:32:22,406 --> 00:32:23,739
(MOM ON PHONE)
630
00:32:23,740 --> 00:32:26,410
- (PHONE RINGING)
- (DAD ON PHONE)
631
00:32:30,513 --> 00:32:32,515
- (PHONE RINGING)
- (RAVI ON PHONE)
632
00:32:33,783 --> 00:32:35,384
(GEETA SPEAKING)
633
00:32:35,385 --> 00:32:37,387
(RAVI ON PHONE)
634
00:32:42,426 --> 00:32:44,394
(MOM AND RAVI ON PHONE)
635
00:32:48,564 --> 00:32:50,566
(MOM ON PHONE)
636
00:32:52,136 --> 00:32:54,538
(DAD ON PHONE)
637
00:32:58,876 --> 00:33:00,609
- GEETA: Pretty impressive.
- RAVI: Yeah, that was...
638
00:33:00,610 --> 00:33:02,310
GEETA: Would have been
more impressive if you...
639
00:33:02,311 --> 00:33:03,879
Met the woman of your dreams.
640
00:33:03,880 --> 00:33:05,181
RAVI: Yeah, I mean, I
didn't come out of that trip
641
00:33:05,182 --> 00:33:07,849
feeling like "Oh, I just met the one."
642
00:33:07,850 --> 00:33:09,318
But I came out of that trip feeling like,
643
00:33:09,319 --> 00:33:12,187
"Okay, I think I will."
644
00:33:12,188 --> 00:33:13,522
And uh, by the way, I felt accomplished
645
00:33:13,523 --> 00:33:16,458
(CHUCKLING) just having gone
on 15 dates around the country.
646
00:33:16,459 --> 00:33:17,859
- That's crazy.
- GEETA: Yeah, right, but for them,
647
00:33:17,860 --> 00:33:20,262
15 was a huge number.
648
00:33:20,263 --> 00:33:22,365
I mean, Dad found
Mom after 12 women.
649
00:33:22,366 --> 00:33:24,833
Yeah but he's clearly
better at this than I am.
650
00:33:24,834 --> 00:33:27,703
(LAUGHTER)
651
00:33:27,704 --> 00:33:29,839
GEETA: I've probably been on 1 to 200.
652
00:33:29,840 --> 00:33:30,906
What?
653
00:33:30,907 --> 00:33:32,474
Yeah.
654
00:33:32,475 --> 00:33:34,377
I've been doing this since I was 20.
655
00:33:34,378 --> 00:33:37,714
And how many of those
resulted in second dates?
656
00:33:39,515 --> 00:33:41,650
None.
657
00:33:41,651 --> 00:33:42,885
Well, we should be talking about you then.
658
00:33:42,886 --> 00:33:44,788
I mean, why are you failing?
659
00:33:47,291 --> 00:33:48,791
(LAUGHTER)
660
00:33:48,792 --> 00:33:50,792
So they were, like, trying to pressure me
661
00:33:50,793 --> 00:33:51,727
into like, getting an arranged marriage
662
00:33:51,728 --> 00:33:52,695
and I'm like, no, I don't want to do it,
663
00:33:52,696 --> 00:33:53,562
they were like, let's
put an ad in the paper,
664
00:33:53,563 --> 00:33:54,696
'cause that's what a lot of people do
665
00:33:54,697 --> 00:33:57,599
is they go there, they put
an ad in the classifieds.
666
00:33:57,600 --> 00:33:58,935
SH: In the matrimonial section...
667
00:33:58,936 --> 00:34:01,670
JOSH: The classified
is labeled matrimonial.
668
00:34:01,671 --> 00:34:04,473
It's like, "Seeking an
alliance for our daughter..."
669
00:34:04,474 --> 00:34:06,408
ADITYA: That's like Victorian England.
670
00:34:06,409 --> 00:34:09,445
- The fact that the term alliance is used...
- (LAUGHTER)
671
00:34:09,446 --> 00:34:11,379
- Alliance is the right word.
- Alliance is the right word, yeah.
672
00:34:11,380 --> 00:34:13,983
"Homely and comely," whoever
knows what that means.
673
00:34:13,984 --> 00:34:15,450
"Homely and comely, wheatish complexion."
674
00:34:15,451 --> 00:34:17,586
From my perspective, that sounds
675
00:34:17,587 --> 00:34:18,821
- incredibly racist or odd, you know...
- JULIANNA: (LAUGHING) Yeah.
676
00:34:18,822 --> 00:34:21,356
...but like, right? It does, doesn't it?
677
00:34:21,357 --> 00:34:22,658
SUNKRISH: They sell a lotion in India
678
00:34:22,659 --> 00:34:24,260
called Fair And Lovely,
679
00:34:24,261 --> 00:34:27,896
and people like, lather it onto their skin.
680
00:34:27,897 --> 00:34:29,765
- It's a skin-bleaching lotion?
- A skin-bleaching lotion...
681
00:34:29,766 --> 00:34:31,767
- JOSH: No way.
- ...to try and get lighter.
682
00:34:31,768 --> 00:34:33,269
They have a male version now
that's called Fair And Handsome.
683
00:34:33,270 --> 00:34:34,537
- SUNKRISH: Oh!
- (LAUGHTER)
684
00:34:34,538 --> 00:34:36,238
RAVI: Fair skin is a big deal.
685
00:34:36,239 --> 00:34:38,707
Like, right now, if my mom
saw me in the sun right now,
686
00:34:38,708 --> 00:34:41,910
she'd be like, "Ahh, your
marriage value is plummeting!"
687
00:34:41,911 --> 00:34:44,413
(ALL LAUGHING)
688
00:34:46,616 --> 00:34:48,551
I got to tell you, like,
based on what I've gone through
689
00:34:48,552 --> 00:34:50,620
with my parents so far, like I
hope it does work, I really do.
690
00:34:50,621 --> 00:34:52,655
JULIANNA: You really do? You hope it does?
691
00:34:52,656 --> 00:34:54,856
Absolutely, like, look,
if the end is that I end up
692
00:34:54,857 --> 00:34:56,658
with a girl that I think is amazing
693
00:34:56,659 --> 00:34:57,892
and I want to be with...
694
00:34:57,893 --> 00:34:58,928
I guess I'm just confused
695
00:34:58,929 --> 00:35:01,463
because you've been with
somebody who you love
696
00:35:01,464 --> 00:35:04,367
and think is amazing and
you do want to be with
697
00:35:04,368 --> 00:35:06,501
and now you guys are broken
up which happens and is fine,
698
00:35:06,502 --> 00:35:08,504
but like that prospect is totally gone
699
00:35:08,505 --> 00:35:09,905
if this works out.
700
00:35:09,906 --> 00:35:12,442
(PHONE RINGING)
701
00:35:15,679 --> 00:35:16,745
(AUDREY ON PHONE)
702
00:35:16,746 --> 00:35:18,614
Hey.
703
00:35:19,982 --> 00:35:23,318
(CHUCKLES) How are you?
704
00:35:23,319 --> 00:35:27,522
Sister's great, she's uh,
she's in Charlotte right now
705
00:35:27,523 --> 00:35:29,726
and it's awesome.
706
00:35:31,494 --> 00:35:33,763
I've recently...
707
00:35:33,764 --> 00:35:36,599
Yeah, I love when she leaves.
708
00:35:36,600 --> 00:35:37,966
How has your life been
709
00:35:37,967 --> 00:35:40,402
not being Facebook friends with me?
710
00:35:45,074 --> 00:35:47,709
Nothing, it was just a bit of an
earth-shattering moment for me,
711
00:35:47,710 --> 00:35:52,281
I didn't know about it
until like two weeks in,
712
00:35:53,317 --> 00:35:54,582
and then I realized,
713
00:35:54,583 --> 00:35:57,887
I don't even know how I figured it out,
714
00:35:57,888 --> 00:35:59,455
I'm sure I tried to go to your profile
715
00:35:59,456 --> 00:36:01,458
and I wasn't your friend.
716
00:36:03,659 --> 00:36:05,661
Yeah.
717
00:36:11,335 --> 00:36:12,635
What?
718
00:36:12,636 --> 00:36:15,004
Did... (LAUGHING)
719
00:36:15,005 --> 00:36:17,907
Have I dealt with my inability to commit?
720
00:36:21,744 --> 00:36:24,547
Huh. How do you deal
with that kind of thing?
721
00:36:29,953 --> 00:36:31,955
Um,
722
00:36:33,422 --> 00:36:35,490
I don't know how to deal
with commitment issues.
723
00:36:35,491 --> 00:36:37,926
I mean, you either have
them or you don't, right?
724
00:36:37,927 --> 00:36:39,861
Or like, you have them until you commit,
725
00:36:39,862 --> 00:36:41,864
is that how it goes?
726
00:36:43,467 --> 00:36:45,368
Yeah, so then I still have them.
727
00:36:51,507 --> 00:36:53,710
How do we end this? What do we...
728
00:36:55,511 --> 00:36:58,380
- Do we just say bye?
- AUDREY: Umm.
729
00:36:59,882 --> 00:37:01,751
Well, when do we talk again?
730
00:37:01,752 --> 00:37:03,519
Do we have to like set a date,
731
00:37:03,520 --> 00:37:05,855
or do I like, have to wait
another six weeks or something?
732
00:37:06,922 --> 00:37:08,490
Oh, yeah, so I'm just calling you whenever,
733
00:37:08,491 --> 00:37:11,360
like I'll call you, like
in a month or something?
734
00:37:15,898 --> 00:37:18,500
It's good talking to you, Audrey.
735
00:37:22,672 --> 00:37:24,874
All right...
736
00:37:24,875 --> 00:37:27,610
All right, talk to you later, bye.
737
00:37:33,116 --> 00:37:34,817
(DAD ON PHONE)
738
00:37:36,619 --> 00:37:38,019
Well... she's, I mean... (SIGHS)
739
00:37:38,020 --> 00:37:40,689
I'm telling you, our odds
are going to be much better
740
00:37:40,690 --> 00:37:42,691
if you find girls that are in America,
741
00:37:42,692 --> 00:37:46,495
American-born and also...
742
00:37:46,496 --> 00:37:50,131
you know, tend to have a
mixture of friends culturally,
743
00:37:50,132 --> 00:37:52,668
'cause that to me is
the ultimate indicator.
744
00:38:00,476 --> 00:38:02,478
Okay.
745
00:38:08,485 --> 00:38:10,820
Okay, you're probably
right about that, yeah.
746
00:38:20,630 --> 00:38:27,137
♪ (MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
747
00:38:39,081 --> 00:38:40,582
(INDISTINCT)
748
00:38:40,583 --> 00:38:43,051
NUPUR: This one? It's 17.99 a month.
749
00:38:43,052 --> 00:38:45,187
And then I got to pay for
every date I go on, obviously.
750
00:38:45,188 --> 00:38:46,254
Well, yeah, you have
to pay for the dates...
751
00:38:46,255 --> 00:38:48,791
well, you don't have to,
you can split the dates.
752
00:38:48,792 --> 00:38:50,225
Dutch on the first date,
753
00:38:50,226 --> 00:38:53,796
- unless you like them...
- Do you do that?
754
00:38:53,797 --> 00:38:55,597
Have you ever gone Dutch on a date?
755
00:38:55,598 --> 00:38:59,501
I am a man seeking a woman.
756
00:38:59,502 --> 00:39:01,269
- NUPUR: Okay, which best describes your body type.
- (RAVI LAUGHING)
757
00:39:01,270 --> 00:39:02,638
NUPUR: Go with, "Athletic and toned."
758
00:39:02,639 --> 00:39:03,738
RAVI: I am athletic and toned!
759
00:39:03,739 --> 00:39:05,707
NUPUR: No, you're not, you
have a few extra pounds.
760
00:39:05,708 --> 00:39:07,877
(LAUGHTER)
761
00:39:14,150 --> 00:39:15,818
"Graduate student in neurobiology."
762
00:39:15,819 --> 00:39:17,986
"Science geek"!
763
00:39:17,987 --> 00:39:19,588
RAVI: Yeah I'm going
after her, she's awesome.
764
00:39:19,589 --> 00:39:21,089
This girl is awesome.
765
00:39:21,090 --> 00:39:23,758
NUPUR: Strategically placed
tattoo, yeah, that's so hot.
766
00:39:23,759 --> 00:39:26,060
RAVI: She's great, she's just great.
767
00:39:26,061 --> 00:39:28,163
All right, so I'll pick
you up at like, 8:00?
768
00:39:29,632 --> 00:39:31,901
Okay.
769
00:39:31,902 --> 00:39:32,968
(GEETA SPEAKING)
770
00:39:32,969 --> 00:39:35,137
Neeta.
771
00:39:35,138 --> 00:39:36,571
- Hi!
- Hi, are you Heena?
772
00:39:36,572 --> 00:39:38,673
- Hima. Yeah.
- Hima, oh, I'm sorry.
773
00:39:38,674 --> 00:39:40,542
- Ravi.
- Hi.
774
00:39:41,578 --> 00:39:42,711
RAVI: I'm gonna have to come
up with more constraints,
775
00:39:42,712 --> 00:39:44,780
this has 566 matches.
776
00:39:44,781 --> 00:39:46,147
(LAUGHING)
777
00:39:46,148 --> 00:39:48,117
- RAVI: Are you a wedding planner?
- Yes I am.
778
00:39:48,118 --> 00:39:49,251
(LAUGHS)
779
00:39:49,252 --> 00:39:51,053
Her name is... Seema?
780
00:39:51,054 --> 00:39:52,988
(ON PHONE) Well Mom, she
didn't even email me back.
781
00:39:52,989 --> 00:39:54,923
(MOM ON PHONE)
782
00:39:54,924 --> 00:39:56,658
I can't reply to myself!
783
00:39:56,659 --> 00:39:58,961
The good news is if,
uh, match doesn't work,
784
00:39:58,962 --> 00:40:00,930
you get your money back in like six months,
785
00:40:00,931 --> 00:40:03,166
so it's more like a savings account.
786
00:40:05,335 --> 00:40:06,935
Look at that. That's a fun...
787
00:40:06,936 --> 00:40:08,771
MERI: This is a fun girl.
788
00:40:08,772 --> 00:40:09,771
Are we supposed to get
like, a knife or something?
789
00:40:09,772 --> 00:40:11,106
HIMA: No, you just dig
in, like Indian style.
790
00:40:11,107 --> 00:40:12,307
Hey Seema, I'm Ravi...
791
00:40:12,308 --> 00:40:14,075
Yeah, not so good there.
792
00:40:14,076 --> 00:40:15,910
Don't do anything sneaky with the camera...
793
00:40:15,911 --> 00:40:18,814
- GEETA: Okay.
- I'm, I'm dead serious.
794
00:40:18,815 --> 00:40:20,182
This girl's gonna be cute.
795
00:40:20,183 --> 00:40:21,749
- Nope.
- Ohh...
796
00:40:21,750 --> 00:40:23,986
(ALARM RINGING)
797
00:40:23,987 --> 00:40:25,854
RAVI: See ya.
798
00:40:25,855 --> 00:40:28,157
(GEETA LAUGHS)
799
00:40:31,761 --> 00:40:33,762
I don't know, there is
something cool about showing up
800
00:40:33,763 --> 00:40:36,632
and feeling like you
already know so much about
801
00:40:37,933 --> 00:40:39,033
the other person, like...
802
00:40:39,034 --> 00:40:42,604
We all have kind of like
the exact same upbringing.
803
00:40:42,605 --> 00:40:44,740
(GEETA SPEAKING)
804
00:40:44,741 --> 00:40:46,841
Right, like especially with
this dating stuff, like...
805
00:40:46,842 --> 00:40:49,011
(GEETA SPEAKING)
806
00:40:50,614 --> 00:40:52,080
No! I mean, we talk about that stuff...
807
00:40:52,081 --> 00:40:54,682
No, that's what I'm
telling you, it's like...
808
00:40:54,683 --> 00:40:56,785
it's like a support group or something.
809
00:40:56,786 --> 00:40:58,788
(BOTH CHUCKLING)
810
00:41:01,857 --> 00:41:04,325
(GEETA SPEAKING)
811
00:41:04,326 --> 00:41:08,030
It's supposed to dry,
it will dry on the way.
812
00:41:08,031 --> 00:41:09,897
I have a system.
813
00:41:09,898 --> 00:41:11,900
Bye.
814
00:41:16,906 --> 00:41:18,907
GEETA: How did it go?
815
00:41:21,677 --> 00:41:24,379
Rav?
816
00:41:24,380 --> 00:41:26,616
- Huh? (MUMBLES)
- How did it go?
817
00:41:30,886 --> 00:41:32,788
(RAVI SPEAKING)
818
00:41:33,857 --> 00:41:35,724
GEETA: How do you know that?
819
00:41:35,725 --> 00:41:36,959
Well, see, I don't even
know dating that well,
820
00:41:36,960 --> 00:41:38,260
I haven't done it that much, okay?
821
00:41:38,261 --> 00:41:40,730
I really haven't, like...
822
00:41:42,132 --> 00:41:43,832
I don't date, right?
823
00:41:43,833 --> 00:41:45,735
I went through this like
824
00:41:47,404 --> 00:41:49,437
four-year period, I decided...
825
00:41:49,438 --> 00:41:51,740
I mean, I would even tell
my friends about this,
826
00:41:51,741 --> 00:41:55,810
that I decided that I
wanted to date an Indian girl
827
00:41:55,811 --> 00:41:57,713
and if the only way I could do that
828
00:41:57,714 --> 00:42:00,149
is if I literally, cut myself
off from everything else,
829
00:42:00,150 --> 00:42:03,452
that I was starving so bad for,
830
00:42:03,453 --> 00:42:06,321
(LAUGHING) a woman,
831
00:42:06,322 --> 00:42:07,955
and knowing that that was the only way...
832
00:42:07,956 --> 00:42:09,691
That I would go after it that much harder.
833
00:42:09,692 --> 00:42:11,225
And it didn't work.
834
00:42:11,226 --> 00:42:13,028
GEETA: When was this?
835
00:42:13,029 --> 00:42:15,196
Right before Audrey...
836
00:42:15,197 --> 00:42:18,200
I thought it would help me get
closer to finding an Indian.
837
00:42:18,201 --> 00:42:19,801
GEETA: I did the same thing.
838
00:42:19,802 --> 00:42:21,470
You did the same thing?
839
00:42:21,471 --> 00:42:26,307
Even though I was born here
and considered American,
840
00:42:26,308 --> 00:42:29,278
it wasn't like I ever really
considered myself American.
841
00:42:29,279 --> 00:42:30,879
GEETA: I've never
seen my parents kiss,
842
00:42:30,880 --> 00:42:31,847
like intimacy wasn't something,
843
00:42:31,848 --> 00:42:32,881
did you guys have that?
844
00:42:32,882 --> 00:42:35,316
I saw my dad kiss my
mom on the cheek one time
845
00:42:35,317 --> 00:42:36,751
and I was like, (GASPS) "Whoa!"
846
00:42:36,752 --> 00:42:38,187
You know, they'd put me to sleep,
847
00:42:38,188 --> 00:42:40,354
we'd rattle off all the
different Hindu God names,
848
00:42:40,355 --> 00:42:42,457
at the end they'd say, "Okay, study hard,
849
00:42:42,458 --> 00:42:45,861
"no boys, no blacks,
no Muslims, good night."
850
00:42:45,862 --> 00:42:48,430
My grandmother is probably the most
racist human being I've ever met...
851
00:42:48,431 --> 00:42:50,733
- (CHUCKLES)
- ...but she's, like, the most lovable human being.
852
00:42:50,734 --> 00:42:52,468
- They just look in a tunnel
- (BABY GURGLING)
853
00:42:52,469 --> 00:42:54,970
and they can't kind of see outside of that.
854
00:42:54,971 --> 00:42:55,905
I wasn't allowed to date,
855
00:42:55,906 --> 00:42:57,939
girls weren't allowed to call the house.
856
00:42:57,940 --> 00:42:58,874
When I got to college,
857
00:42:58,875 --> 00:43:02,010
there was a ton of Indian people, right,
858
00:43:02,011 --> 00:43:04,345
most of the girls, they, I
called them "Snapback girls,"
859
00:43:04,346 --> 00:43:05,914
those were the ones that
I always went after...
860
00:43:05,915 --> 00:43:09,517
I didn't date anyone, till...
861
00:43:09,518 --> 00:43:11,986
They were never allowed to
date in high school, right,
862
00:43:11,987 --> 00:43:13,888
or their whole lives, so
when they got to college,
863
00:43:13,889 --> 00:43:15,890
the freedom, oh, my God!
And I was in a fraternity...
864
00:43:15,891 --> 00:43:19,861
I don't know how to really talk to men
865
00:43:19,862 --> 00:43:22,363
in order to let them know that
I would be interested in them,
866
00:43:22,364 --> 00:43:24,265
or how to like, play the game,
867
00:43:24,266 --> 00:43:25,801
and like, you know, have them hunt me,
868
00:43:25,802 --> 00:43:27,704
or whatever they're supposed to do.
869
00:43:29,404 --> 00:43:30,872
(MUSIC PLAYING)
870
00:43:30,873 --> 00:43:32,975
(DAD SPEAKING)
871
00:43:34,310 --> 00:43:37,044
GEETA: Yeah, Mom, come
sit, let's do cheers!
872
00:43:37,045 --> 00:43:39,314
GEETA: I love that we're celebrating
your anniversary in sweatpants.
873
00:43:39,315 --> 00:43:41,115
Okay, cheers!
874
00:43:41,116 --> 00:43:43,051
RAVI: Happy anniversary.
875
00:43:43,052 --> 00:43:44,820
- GEETA: Happy anniversary!
- MOM: Thank you. Happy anniversary to us!
876
00:43:44,821 --> 00:43:49,091
- My kids are the lovely kids.
- (LAUGHTER)
877
00:43:49,092 --> 00:43:50,859
I go upstairs.
878
00:43:50,860 --> 00:43:53,562
She's sitting in a chair
or a stool or something.
879
00:43:53,563 --> 00:43:56,999
Probably a little intimidated
because this guy is from America.
880
00:43:59,835 --> 00:44:02,204
I was the one who asked the questions.
881
00:44:02,205 --> 00:44:03,972
And she never asked me any question.
882
00:44:03,973 --> 00:44:05,307
Which was a big set-up
883
00:44:05,308 --> 00:44:07,809
because she never opened her mouth there
884
00:44:07,810 --> 00:44:09,178
but she never shut up after the marriage.
885
00:44:09,179 --> 00:44:10,278
(LAUGHTER)
886
00:44:10,279 --> 00:44:11,979
MOM: But let me tell you,
887
00:44:11,980 --> 00:44:15,517
when I talked to him, we
only talked maybe 10 minutes.
888
00:44:15,518 --> 00:44:18,120
- DAD: And even then...
- MOM: And he made me laugh...
889
00:44:18,121 --> 00:44:19,388
Like crazy.
890
00:44:19,389 --> 00:44:22,057
I asked her, one of the
questions was, and this is true,
891
00:44:22,058 --> 00:44:23,325
"How far have you traveled?"
892
00:44:23,326 --> 00:44:24,959
(LAUGHTER)
893
00:44:24,960 --> 00:44:28,229
She said, "I traveled
all the way to Pavagadh."
894
00:44:28,230 --> 00:44:29,997
Now, Pavagadh is only 30 miles away.
895
00:44:29,998 --> 00:44:33,202
(LAUGHTER)
896
00:44:33,203 --> 00:44:35,002
GEETA: So she thought that was far?
897
00:44:35,003 --> 00:44:38,472
To her that was a big
accomplishment, I guess.
898
00:44:38,473 --> 00:44:41,109
(LAUGHTER)
899
00:44:41,110 --> 00:44:43,111
Vasant, that's not true.
900
00:44:43,112 --> 00:44:45,113
I mean, you know, how can
I disappoint her in life
901
00:44:45,114 --> 00:44:47,916
when she's happy with 30-mile travel?
902
00:44:47,917 --> 00:44:49,852
(LAUGHTER)
903
00:44:49,853 --> 00:44:51,620
DAD: But you know what
the bottom line is, Ravi?
904
00:44:51,621 --> 00:44:54,189
I still believe, when you are ready,
905
00:44:54,190 --> 00:44:56,057
you will find a girl.
906
00:44:56,058 --> 00:44:59,160
Just like a guru, they
said in the Bhagavad Gita.
907
00:44:59,161 --> 00:45:02,497
Bhagavad Gita says, "When
you are ready for a guru,
908
00:45:02,498 --> 00:45:04,298
"you don't ever look for a guru.
909
00:45:04,299 --> 00:45:06,301
"Guru will come to you."
910
00:45:06,302 --> 00:45:09,403
RAVI: I know that, I know that at
the end of all these failed dates,
911
00:45:09,404 --> 00:45:11,073
you guys just see failure.
912
00:45:11,074 --> 00:45:12,274
But what I see
913
00:45:12,275 --> 00:45:14,075
is that it's helped me
figure out what I want.
914
00:45:14,076 --> 00:45:16,111
I see progress.
915
00:45:16,112 --> 00:45:18,213
I see that, oh, I've figured
out that, you know what...
916
00:45:18,214 --> 00:45:21,250
(MOM SPEAKING GUJARATI)
917
00:45:25,054 --> 00:45:27,389
DAD: (IMITATING RAVI)
918
00:45:30,393 --> 00:45:32,928
(LAUGHTER)
919
00:45:32,929 --> 00:45:35,930
DAD: (IMITATING RAVI)
920
00:45:35,931 --> 00:45:38,166
- (LAUGHTER)
- (IMITATING RAVI) But you know what, I'm learning.
921
00:45:38,167 --> 00:45:41,837
I'm learning. Now I know
what kind of girl I want.
922
00:45:44,339 --> 00:45:46,508
RAVI: Oh, I got a ticket.
923
00:45:46,509 --> 00:45:48,910
God.
924
00:45:48,911 --> 00:45:50,245
GEETA: Oh, God.
925
00:45:50,246 --> 00:45:52,849
Do you have to do it this way?
926
00:45:54,951 --> 00:45:57,153
(EXHALES)
927
00:45:59,154 --> 00:46:00,588
PEJ: Ready?
928
00:46:00,589 --> 00:46:02,291
RAVI: (CLEARS THROAT) Okay, ready?
929
00:46:02,292 --> 00:46:04,126
Okay. (BREATHES DEEPLY)
930
00:46:04,127 --> 00:46:05,260
Hey, can I talk to you for a sec?
931
00:46:05,261 --> 00:46:07,062
- SUNKRISH: Not really.
- RAVI: So, what do you think?
932
00:46:07,063 --> 00:46:09,664
Notice anything different?
933
00:46:09,665 --> 00:46:13,001
Hair color, trying to age myself up.
934
00:46:13,002 --> 00:46:14,403
You're anticipating a little bit.
935
00:46:14,404 --> 00:46:17,506
- RAVI: I am?
- A little bit.
936
00:46:17,507 --> 00:46:19,274
- Ready?
- (SUNKRISH SPEAKING)
937
00:46:19,275 --> 00:46:22,044
Yeah, please.
938
00:46:22,045 --> 00:46:23,211
All right, here.
939
00:46:23,212 --> 00:46:24,446
- What are you doing?
- I'm taking it off.
940
00:46:24,447 --> 00:46:26,415
- You're taking it off?
- I'm taking it right off.
941
00:46:30,552 --> 00:46:33,120
Did I tell you Audrey
made me a good-luck cake?
942
00:46:33,121 --> 00:46:36,324
SUNKRISH: What's going on? This is
like the unhealthiest relationship.
943
00:46:37,993 --> 00:46:39,961
It's the unhealthiest non-relationship.
944
00:46:39,962 --> 00:46:41,963
GEETA: And then I came
home and she was there.
945
00:46:41,964 --> 00:46:43,966
I came to your house and she was there!
946
00:46:43,967 --> 00:46:46,033
GEETA: Why did you not tell me
that you guys were hanging out?
947
00:46:46,034 --> 00:46:48,236
RAVI: Well, I wasn't trying
to, like, hide it from you.
948
00:46:48,237 --> 00:46:50,372
I mean, I was trying to hide it from you,
949
00:46:50,373 --> 00:46:51,707
but it just wasn't a big deal.
950
00:46:51,708 --> 00:46:54,443
I mean, we ran into each other one day
951
00:46:54,444 --> 00:46:56,510
and the next thing you
know, we're like, laughing
952
00:46:56,511 --> 00:46:59,680
about how miserable dating can be.
953
00:46:59,681 --> 00:47:02,084
And it was good to just be friends.
954
00:47:02,085 --> 00:47:03,218
GEETA: But there are rules, like,
955
00:47:03,219 --> 00:47:04,586
when you break up, there are rules
956
00:47:04,587 --> 00:47:06,021
that you have to follow that...
957
00:47:06,022 --> 00:47:07,421
- About how the break-up goes.
- RAVI: Yeah, but we spent time apart.
958
00:47:07,422 --> 00:47:11,193
We were both dating other people,
so it's not like we weren't...
959
00:47:11,194 --> 00:47:12,394
You know, it's not like we were trying to
960
00:47:12,395 --> 00:47:13,829
get back together or anything,
we were just hanging out.
961
00:47:13,830 --> 00:47:16,131
You guys were barely dating other
people, it hadn't been that long.
962
00:47:16,132 --> 00:47:17,698
We were best friends.
963
00:47:17,699 --> 00:47:20,001
DAD: I got this girl here in Boston
964
00:47:20,002 --> 00:47:22,004
and when we're going to the wedding there,
965
00:47:22,005 --> 00:47:24,006
there's a girl named Seema
966
00:47:24,007 --> 00:47:26,140
that I really want him to meet her.
967
00:47:26,141 --> 00:47:27,742
GEETA: Did you tell him already?
968
00:47:27,743 --> 00:47:30,579
No, I'm gonna call him and let him know,
969
00:47:30,580 --> 00:47:32,580
but I just wanted to let you know,
970
00:47:32,581 --> 00:47:35,216
But I think, since we are
going to be there anyway,
971
00:47:35,217 --> 00:47:37,453
it would be nice to meet with her.
972
00:47:39,121 --> 00:47:40,722
RAVI: I remember, Mom
calls me up and she goes,
973
00:47:40,723 --> 00:47:45,126
"My prince, big wedding season.
974
00:47:45,127 --> 00:47:47,629
"My prince, hit the girls."
975
00:47:47,630 --> 00:47:51,298
(MUSIC PLAYING)
976
00:47:51,299 --> 00:47:53,135
RAVI: Beginning of wedding season!
977
00:47:53,136 --> 00:47:55,538
(MUSIC PLAYING)
978
00:48:02,244 --> 00:48:05,281
(CROWD CHEERING)
979
00:49:13,549 --> 00:49:18,854
WEDDING SINGER: ♪ If
the sky that we look upon
980
00:49:18,855 --> 00:49:21,789
♪ Should tumble and fall
981
00:49:21,790 --> 00:49:27,329
♪ And the mountains should
crumble to the sea ♪
982
00:49:27,330 --> 00:49:30,498
(DAD SPEAKING)
983
00:49:36,639 --> 00:49:38,539
But, how are we going to set
it up, let's talk about it.
984
00:49:38,540 --> 00:49:40,274
- It's not going to happen automatically.
- MOM: Yeah.
985
00:49:40,275 --> 00:49:41,809
RAVI: No, no, no, do not do that,
986
00:49:41,810 --> 00:49:43,477
that's where you guys go too far,
987
00:49:43,478 --> 00:49:44,778
I'm telling you I'm gonna take care of it.
988
00:49:44,779 --> 00:49:46,481
I don't want you guys jumping in
989
00:49:46,482 --> 00:49:47,649
and getting all these
other people involved,
990
00:49:47,650 --> 00:49:48,816
that's when it becomes embarrassing.
991
00:49:48,817 --> 00:49:51,285
We're not going to do anything
you don't want us to do.
992
00:49:51,286 --> 00:49:52,720
Okay? It's given.
993
00:49:52,721 --> 00:49:55,256
Okay, just, then relax, then. We're done.
994
00:49:55,257 --> 00:49:57,325
When you talk to her,
995
00:49:57,326 --> 00:50:00,428
she may not know why
you are talking to her.
996
00:50:00,429 --> 00:50:02,897
Don't be shy, talk to her, man.
997
00:50:02,898 --> 00:50:04,832
We'll support you, my dear, don't worry...
998
00:50:04,833 --> 00:50:06,801
- We'll support you.
- You are my son.
999
00:50:06,802 --> 00:50:09,204
I'm telling you, you guys are
treating me like I'm, like,
1000
00:50:09,205 --> 00:50:11,272
socially retarded, I'm...
1001
00:50:11,273 --> 00:50:13,542
I'm very good socially.
1002
00:50:13,543 --> 00:50:15,242
DAD: Ravi, you are socially good,
except when it comes to marriage.
1003
00:50:15,243 --> 00:50:16,810
Marriage, right.
1004
00:50:16,811 --> 00:50:18,345
Don't just look at her and
say "Oh, I don't like her."
1005
00:50:18,346 --> 00:50:19,713
I don't do that.
1006
00:50:19,714 --> 00:50:21,416
You guys think I do that, but you just...
1007
00:50:21,417 --> 00:50:22,950
you're so desperate for me to like someone
1008
00:50:22,951 --> 00:50:25,787
that you don't trust
when I make my own choices
1009
00:50:25,788 --> 00:50:27,555
and I give everyone a fair chance.
1010
00:50:27,556 --> 00:50:29,323
MOM: To like somebody, you've
got to get to know somebody.
1011
00:50:29,324 --> 00:50:31,258
DAD: I'm saying at
least talk to the person.
1012
00:50:31,259 --> 00:50:33,294
Why do you love Mom and Dad?
1013
00:50:33,295 --> 00:50:36,765
Because you've been with
them for all these years.
1014
00:50:36,766 --> 00:50:38,734
So if you...
1015
00:50:41,469 --> 00:50:43,305
- Take a little interest...
- RAVI: Okay.
1016
00:50:43,306 --> 00:50:44,673
...and you know what will happen,
1017
00:50:44,674 --> 00:50:46,807
if nothing, let's say you do not like,
1018
00:50:46,808 --> 00:50:49,276
you may say that, "Oh, my
friend might be right for her."
1019
00:50:49,277 --> 00:50:51,278
- MOM: Ah.
- DAD: Introduce to a friend.
1020
00:50:51,279 --> 00:50:52,780
This is the most unnecessary pep speech
1021
00:50:52,781 --> 00:50:54,481
I've ever gotten in my life.
1022
00:50:54,482 --> 00:50:55,783
MOM: Yeah. Okay, let's go.
1023
00:50:55,784 --> 00:50:56,952
DAD: Geeta, are we done, my dear?
1024
00:50:56,953 --> 00:50:59,522
(MUSIC PLAYING)
1025
00:51:18,574 --> 00:51:19,807
(GEETA SPEAKING)
1026
00:51:19,808 --> 00:51:21,743
Yeah I did.
1027
00:51:23,846 --> 00:51:25,412
I don't like her.
1028
00:51:25,413 --> 00:51:26,914
(GEETA SPEAKING)
1029
00:51:26,915 --> 00:51:27,849
What do you mean how do
you know, you just know.
1030
00:51:27,850 --> 00:51:29,417
I don't like her.
1031
00:51:29,418 --> 00:51:31,520
So, put your camera away.
1032
00:51:35,558 --> 00:51:37,292
GEETA: Was that Mom?
1033
00:51:37,293 --> 00:51:39,861
I told Mom and Dad, I'm
like, "Hey, she's great,
1034
00:51:39,862 --> 00:51:42,296
"like, she's a really great person, but,
1035
00:51:42,297 --> 00:51:43,530
"I'm not really into her."
1036
00:51:43,531 --> 00:51:45,499
GEETA: Mmm-hmm.
1037
00:51:45,500 --> 00:51:47,035
You know, in that way.
1038
00:51:47,036 --> 00:51:48,303
By no fault of her own, I'm just...
1039
00:51:48,304 --> 00:51:49,537
GEETA: Yeah.
1040
00:51:49,538 --> 00:51:51,272
You know and, uh...
1041
00:51:51,273 --> 00:51:54,376
they're like, "Well,
just, just talk to her."
1042
00:51:54,377 --> 00:51:57,611
And I'm like, okay, but,
I mean, I'll talk to her,
1043
00:51:57,612 --> 00:51:59,280
But, like, it's just weird.
1044
00:51:59,281 --> 00:52:00,615
GEETA: Mmm-hmm.
1045
00:52:00,616 --> 00:52:01,850
Like, I'm supposed to
call her now on Friday
1046
00:52:01,851 --> 00:52:04,885
and it's just like, ugh.
1047
00:52:04,886 --> 00:52:08,455
- I am so afraid of hurting other people's feelings.
- GEETA: Me too!
1048
00:52:08,456 --> 00:52:09,591
Like, I feel really bad, like,
1049
00:52:09,592 --> 00:52:11,492
she's like a great girl,
1050
00:52:11,493 --> 00:52:14,461
and I don't want her to
think that I'm rejecting her.
1051
00:52:14,462 --> 00:52:15,963
Because that's not really what it is.
1052
00:52:15,964 --> 00:52:17,031
GEETA: Yeah. You guys have it harder
1053
00:52:17,032 --> 00:52:19,867
because you have to
actually approach the women.
1054
00:52:19,868 --> 00:52:22,370
Or, you know, culturally, that's...
1055
00:52:22,371 --> 00:52:25,506
It's easy for women, women just have to be.
1056
00:52:25,507 --> 00:52:28,542
You just have to be. And...
1057
00:52:28,543 --> 00:52:30,010
Then... ugh.
1058
00:52:30,011 --> 00:52:31,646
GEETA: You know what? I
realized it's not easy,
1059
00:52:31,647 --> 00:52:33,347
because I thought we just had to be,
1060
00:52:33,348 --> 00:52:34,483
but I think that's why I'm single
1061
00:52:34,484 --> 00:52:36,950
because I didn't know this
whole eye contact thing,
1062
00:52:36,951 --> 00:52:38,452
like, you have to actually
1063
00:52:38,453 --> 00:52:39,888
- allow someone...
- What's the eye contact thing?
1064
00:52:39,889 --> 00:52:41,588
GEETA: Well, I don't really...
1065
00:52:41,589 --> 00:52:44,758
I never did eye contact
growing up, like you have...
1066
00:52:44,759 --> 00:52:47,329
We have to give you guys a signal that,
1067
00:52:47,330 --> 00:52:48,763
"Yeah, we're interested."
1068
00:52:48,764 --> 00:52:51,599
Or like, "Yeah, I at least
acknowledge that you exist."
1069
00:52:51,600 --> 00:52:53,001
If a girl's looking around,
you have to look right at her,
1070
00:52:53,002 --> 00:52:54,602
which is really scary.
1071
00:52:54,603 --> 00:52:55,870
Well, what's the difference
between that and staring?
1072
00:52:55,871 --> 00:52:57,671
'Cause I know how to stare.
1073
00:52:57,672 --> 00:53:01,509
♪ (MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
1074
00:53:02,978 --> 00:53:06,448
I'm excited because
1075
00:53:06,449 --> 00:53:09,450
Ravi promised me five grandkids.
1076
00:53:09,451 --> 00:53:12,019
You appear to be not promising,
1077
00:53:12,020 --> 00:53:15,589
but sort of leaning towards three.
1078
00:53:15,590 --> 00:53:19,026
Which makes it a potential eight.
1079
00:53:19,027 --> 00:53:21,595
Ravi gave me, one five-year time period.
1080
00:53:21,596 --> 00:53:23,497
Guaranteed, almost.
1081
00:53:23,498 --> 00:53:26,100
You are noncommittal.
1082
00:53:26,101 --> 00:53:28,502
But I assume same time period.
1083
00:53:28,503 --> 00:53:30,939
(GEETA SPEAKING)
1084
00:53:30,940 --> 00:53:31,874
Hey, listen.
1085
00:53:31,875 --> 00:53:33,408
GEETA: It's been easy sailing until now.
1086
00:53:33,409 --> 00:53:36,377
Life is a commitment.
1087
00:53:36,378 --> 00:53:38,912
- So you have to make some commitments.
- GEETA: Mmm.
1088
00:53:38,913 --> 00:53:41,850
(THUNDER)
1089
00:53:46,654 --> 00:53:47,856
- (DOOR OPENS)
- RAVI: Hello.
1090
00:53:47,857 --> 00:53:49,656
GEETA: Hello.
1091
00:53:49,657 --> 00:53:52,459
- What's up?
- GEETA: Someone didn't come home last night.
1092
00:53:52,460 --> 00:53:54,629
Yeah.
1093
00:53:56,398 --> 00:53:57,631
GEETA: You're an idiot.
1094
00:53:57,632 --> 00:53:59,835
RAVI: What?
1095
00:54:01,136 --> 00:54:04,004
What?
1096
00:54:04,005 --> 00:54:06,874
GEETA: Were you at Audrey's?
1097
00:54:06,875 --> 00:54:09,410
We didn't do nothing, we just fell asleep.
1098
00:54:09,411 --> 00:54:11,845
Well, she cooked me, we like, made dinner,
1099
00:54:11,846 --> 00:54:13,948
then we watched a movie and fell asleep.
1100
00:54:15,183 --> 00:54:17,952
GEETA: Okay.
1101
00:54:17,953 --> 00:54:19,922
So.
1102
00:54:28,596 --> 00:54:30,898
GEETA: So are you going to
get back together with her?
1103
00:54:35,871 --> 00:54:37,671
RAVI: Audrey and I met
1104
00:54:37,672 --> 00:54:39,908
when we both worked in the same bar,
1105
00:54:39,909 --> 00:54:42,544
and we had been friends
for a few years.
1106
00:54:42,545 --> 00:54:44,812
But all of a sudden, we
started hanging out a lot,
1107
00:54:44,813 --> 00:54:46,548
and then one night she
came over to watch a movie,
1108
00:54:46,549 --> 00:54:50,051
and that was when things, you know,
started to get a little weird.
1109
00:54:50,052 --> 00:54:51,785
You know, towards, as the movie went on,
1110
00:54:51,786 --> 00:54:54,222
we'd slowly kinda cuddle a little bit
1111
00:54:54,223 --> 00:54:57,725
but in very non-committal
cuddling, so our toes,
1112
00:54:57,726 --> 00:55:00,662
like I think our feet started
getting closer together
1113
00:55:00,663 --> 00:55:02,597
and then next thing you know, our legs...
1114
00:55:02,598 --> 00:55:04,131
I was so nervous that I was like,
1115
00:55:04,132 --> 00:55:05,966
I remember I was stuttering a lot, "Um...
1116
00:55:05,967 --> 00:55:10,238
"Do, do you think we should,
um, like we should uh, like,
1117
00:55:10,239 --> 00:55:12,740
- "this is, like, this is weird right?"
- (GEETA LAUGHS)
1118
00:55:12,741 --> 00:55:16,577
And she was looking at me
and then she just goes...
1119
00:55:16,578 --> 00:55:19,680
(GEETA LAUGHS)
1120
00:55:19,681 --> 00:55:21,149
And of course, to me, the
bury-the-head-in-the-pillow
1121
00:55:21,150 --> 00:55:22,249
was like a bad sign
because that's the only way
1122
00:55:22,250 --> 00:55:24,885
I'm willing to interpret
any situation with a girl,
1123
00:55:24,886 --> 00:55:26,120
is like rejection.
1124
00:55:26,121 --> 00:55:28,055
She was really nervous too.
1125
00:55:28,056 --> 00:55:31,626
I was like, should we start
dating or something, or...
1126
00:55:31,627 --> 00:55:33,560
(GEETA LAUGHING)
1127
00:55:33,561 --> 00:55:37,698
And she was like, "Yeah, I guess,"
1128
00:55:37,699 --> 00:55:39,734
and then I walked her to her car,
1129
00:55:39,735 --> 00:55:42,736
and I'm saying bye, and
like, this is the first time
1130
00:55:42,737 --> 00:55:44,104
it's been this kind of a bye.
1131
00:55:44,105 --> 00:55:45,205
I was like, "Well, should we kiss?"
1132
00:55:45,206 --> 00:55:46,673
She goes like, "Yeah, I guess,"
1133
00:55:46,674 --> 00:55:48,742
and then we go in and it's like a kiss,
1134
00:55:48,743 --> 00:55:53,780
and it is the worst kiss
in the history of kisses.
1135
00:55:53,781 --> 00:55:56,751
Like it was disgusting, you know,
1136
00:55:56,752 --> 00:55:59,787
because it was so forced and uncomfortable
1137
00:55:59,788 --> 00:56:02,089
and we were friends.
1138
00:56:02,090 --> 00:56:05,092
Any man would have handled
that better than me, I think.
1139
00:56:06,761 --> 00:56:09,097
And so there was a lot
of just self-loathing.
1140
00:56:09,098 --> 00:56:11,164
- GEETA: Right.
- RAVI: And at the same time,
1141
00:56:11,165 --> 00:56:14,903
I don't remember ever feeling
that level of exhilaration
1142
00:56:14,904 --> 00:56:17,872
in terms of happiness and just excitement
1143
00:56:17,873 --> 00:56:20,274
that this was happening.
1144
00:56:20,275 --> 00:56:23,577
GEETA: Even though you had a bad kiss too?
1145
00:56:23,578 --> 00:56:25,880
But the second one was incredible.
1146
00:56:32,587 --> 00:56:36,156
MOM: My sister has her
son living with her
1147
00:56:36,157 --> 00:56:38,959
and she has three kids, grandkids,
1148
00:56:38,960 --> 00:56:45,033
and I don't know how to tell you,
it's very rewarding, peaceful,
1149
00:56:45,034 --> 00:56:48,669
I tell you they are just simply,
1150
00:56:48,670 --> 00:56:52,139
I call them they are happy,
happy, happy family, you know.
1151
00:56:53,976 --> 00:56:58,111
But what can I say, America is different.
1152
00:56:58,112 --> 00:57:00,948
And that's the only thing
I regret about myself
1153
00:57:00,949 --> 00:57:03,751
that I wish I didn't come that early
1154
00:57:03,752 --> 00:57:07,622
because my kids would have
been maybe somewhat different,
1155
00:57:07,623 --> 00:57:12,859
and I could have had a similar
life to what my family has.
1156
00:57:12,860 --> 00:57:15,830
Family-wise, staying
together and all that.
1157
00:57:15,831 --> 00:57:18,365
(GEETA SPEAKING)
1158
00:57:18,366 --> 00:57:22,070
Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah,
1159
00:57:22,071 --> 00:57:24,071
because they came later on in the life,
1160
00:57:24,072 --> 00:57:27,774
so their beliefs are different.
1161
00:57:27,775 --> 00:57:31,379
When I came to United States,
there were not Indians,
1162
00:57:31,380 --> 00:57:34,649
so you know, we had to compromise the life
1163
00:57:34,650 --> 00:57:36,950
and we did, and uh,
1164
00:57:36,951 --> 00:57:41,356
and when you compromise, you
pay the price for it, you know.
1165
00:57:41,357 --> 00:57:43,024
And that is the price we are paying for it
1166
00:57:43,025 --> 00:57:45,993
right now, I think.
1167
00:57:45,994 --> 00:57:47,695
GEETA: We're happy, though!
1168
00:57:47,696 --> 00:57:48,595
- We're happy.
- GEETA: And we are gonna be happy,
1169
00:57:48,596 --> 00:57:51,265
we are gonna be just as happy as them.
1170
00:57:51,266 --> 00:57:53,367
We are happy. We are different,
1171
00:57:53,368 --> 00:57:55,702
but we are happy, yeah.
1172
00:57:55,703 --> 00:57:58,306
(PHONE RINGS)
1173
00:57:59,808 --> 00:58:00,742
(MOM SPEAKING)
1174
00:58:00,743 --> 00:58:03,011
Hey, Ma.
1175
00:58:07,281 --> 00:58:10,051
Yeah, there's serious
interest, send it to me.
1176
00:58:10,052 --> 00:58:11,818
MOM: (ON PHONE) Okay.
1177
00:58:11,819 --> 00:58:14,188
MOM: (SPEAKING IN GUJARATI)
1178
00:58:29,837 --> 00:58:32,740
Ma, ah... (SIGHS)
1179
00:58:32,741 --> 00:58:36,144
Mom, Mom, do you guys remember
the conversation we had
1180
00:58:36,145 --> 00:58:39,680
about you guys sending me girls
that are, that are American?
1181
00:58:39,681 --> 00:58:41,381
Okay, okay, okay.
1182
00:58:41,382 --> 00:58:44,751
She's from India, she's
overweight, and she's an engineer?
1183
00:58:44,752 --> 00:58:48,088
- Yeah.
- That's not the best pitch.
1184
00:58:48,089 --> 00:58:51,325
(MUSIC PLAYING)
1185
00:58:53,895 --> 00:58:55,296
RAVI: If the bio-data
thing doesn't work,
1186
00:58:55,297 --> 00:58:57,432
if the Internet dating doesn't work,
1187
00:58:57,433 --> 00:58:59,767
if you're still not able
to meet her at a wedding,
1188
00:58:59,768 --> 00:59:03,838
or say a motel owners expo,
there's still one last shot
1189
00:59:03,839 --> 00:59:06,807
at meeting the perfect Patel girl.
1190
00:59:06,808 --> 00:59:08,709
The Patel convention.
1191
00:59:08,710 --> 00:59:11,211
People get together for two or three days
1192
00:59:11,212 --> 00:59:14,182
and purpose was to bring
their boy and a girl,
1193
00:59:14,183 --> 00:59:15,383
children together,
1194
00:59:15,384 --> 00:59:18,352
and they have programs
and dance and speeches
1195
00:59:18,353 --> 00:59:20,988
and all that, basically
to see if you can find...
1196
00:59:20,989 --> 00:59:23,058
Just like a business expo.
1197
00:59:24,993 --> 00:59:27,828
(MUSIC PLAYING)
1198
00:59:32,500 --> 00:59:35,303
We have a sheet and you're going
to go to people of the opposite sex
1199
00:59:35,304 --> 00:59:37,370
and you're gonna go introduce yourself
1200
00:59:37,371 --> 00:59:40,174
- and go see if they can fill out a box.
- Okay.
1201
00:59:44,078 --> 00:59:46,247
PRESIDENT OF CONVENTION: There's
already one marriage out of it,
1202
00:59:46,248 --> 00:59:48,483
somebody that met last
year is already married
1203
00:59:48,484 --> 00:59:53,354
and there's another
couple that's almost there.
1204
00:59:53,355 --> 00:59:55,323
RAVI: 1:30 to 5:00, Icebreakers.
1205
00:59:55,324 --> 00:59:58,091
Three and a half hours of icebreakers!
1206
00:59:58,092 --> 01:00:00,160
I can't think of a more efficient
way to meet women though.
1207
01:00:00,161 --> 01:00:02,796
BANK: I rarely meet Indian
girls that I like talking to.
1208
01:00:02,797 --> 01:00:05,133
I'm getting in the practice
of like, pursuing women,
1209
01:00:05,134 --> 01:00:08,401
which, unfortunately,
I'm almost 30 years old
1210
01:00:08,402 --> 01:00:12,506
and I really genuinely
feel like I'm bad at it.
1211
01:00:12,507 --> 01:00:14,508
BANK: Well, you're Indian,
you're not going to be good.
1212
01:00:14,509 --> 01:00:16,109
(LAUGHTER)
1213
01:00:16,110 --> 01:00:18,012
So if a girl has Georgia
1214
01:00:18,013 --> 01:00:20,814
and a boy has Atlanta,
you guys match up, okay?
1215
01:00:20,815 --> 01:00:23,251
I hope you guys know
your states and capitals.
1216
01:00:23,252 --> 01:00:24,885
I don't like how I look.
1217
01:00:24,886 --> 01:00:26,521
My hair, I look ridiculous.
1218
01:00:26,522 --> 01:00:28,122
Geeta, this is fine, right?
1219
01:00:28,123 --> 01:00:29,490
- GEETA: Mmm-hmm.
- It is, right?
1220
01:00:29,491 --> 01:00:32,794
Why doesn't anyone tell
me how stupid I look?
1221
01:00:32,795 --> 01:00:34,796
Did you see any guys down
there you like, Geets?
1222
01:00:34,797 --> 01:00:36,831
GEETA: No.
1223
01:00:39,368 --> 01:00:42,337
(ELEVATOR PINGING)
1224
01:00:43,806 --> 01:00:45,906
BANK: A bunch of Indians
in business casual,
1225
01:00:45,907 --> 01:00:48,042
they probably just thought it's
like an engineering conference.
1226
01:00:48,043 --> 01:00:49,943
RAVI: They've got to think
it's absolutely fascinating.
1227
01:00:49,944 --> 01:00:51,812
I'm sure they're all just
in there making faces.
1228
01:00:51,813 --> 01:00:53,113
BANK: Yeah, they're
white, they don't get it.
1229
01:00:53,114 --> 01:00:55,550
(LAUGHTER)
1230
01:00:55,551 --> 01:00:57,885
We have to kind of do one of these.
1231
01:00:57,886 --> 01:00:59,387
RAVI: (LAUGHING) They don't get it.
1232
01:00:59,388 --> 01:01:01,588
BANK: It's like, required.
1233
01:01:01,589 --> 01:01:04,292
RAVI: "They're white, they
don't get it." (CHUCKLING)
1234
01:01:04,293 --> 01:01:07,295
(MUSIC PLAYING)
1235
01:01:08,397 --> 01:01:10,397
- Hey, I'm Ravi.
- GIRL: LA!
1236
01:01:10,398 --> 01:01:12,099
- RAVI: Yeah.
- Anisha.
1237
01:01:12,100 --> 01:01:14,167
Hey, I'm Ravi. Hey,
I'm Ravi. Hey, I'm Ravi.
1238
01:01:14,168 --> 01:01:16,437
Hey, I'm Ravi. Hey, I'm Ravi.
1239
01:01:19,373 --> 01:01:21,242
I try to stay away from Canada
1240
01:01:21,243 --> 01:01:22,910
- as much as possible.
- GIRL: Why?
1241
01:01:22,911 --> 01:01:25,313
My mom and dad keep on
calling me over and over again.
1242
01:01:26,882 --> 01:01:28,615
RAVI: This is exhausting, isn't it?
1243
01:01:28,616 --> 01:01:31,084
GIRL: ...animal sounds.
1244
01:01:31,085 --> 01:01:32,452
Is that what you do? You just find
other people making your noise?
1245
01:01:32,453 --> 01:01:34,555
- Meow.
- MAN: Meow.
1246
01:01:34,556 --> 01:01:36,289
Oh yeah. Hey, I'm Ravi.
1247
01:01:36,290 --> 01:01:39,327
Anisha. Nice to meet you.
1248
01:01:39,328 --> 01:01:41,394
- Are you good at this?
- No.
1249
01:01:41,395 --> 01:01:43,597
Hey, I'm Ravi, oh wait, we already met.
1250
01:01:43,598 --> 01:01:45,399
RAVI: Nice to meet you too.
1251
01:01:45,400 --> 01:01:48,035
Nice to meet you too.
1252
01:01:48,036 --> 01:01:51,472
This is fun. It's weird and
fun at the same time, yeah.
1253
01:01:51,473 --> 01:01:53,274
Yeah, I think we should
do this all the time.
1254
01:01:53,275 --> 01:01:59,180
This is great, wait, what's next?
1255
01:01:59,181 --> 01:02:01,381
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATION)
1256
01:02:01,382 --> 01:02:09,390
(MUSIC PLAYING)
1257
01:02:25,540 --> 01:02:28,310
(MOM ON PHONE)
1258
01:02:48,397 --> 01:02:51,064
GEETA: I... um.
1259
01:02:51,065 --> 01:02:54,068
I mean, I emailed him and
he didn't email me back.
1260
01:02:54,069 --> 01:02:55,971
It's that simple.
1261
01:03:13,487 --> 01:03:15,890
GEETA: What are you going through?
1262
01:03:19,728 --> 01:03:22,197
GEETA: Mom, but that's not true.
1263
01:03:38,547 --> 01:03:40,448
"Ravi, this is my first problem,
1264
01:03:40,449 --> 01:03:42,984
"our friendship isn't
based on friendship anymore.
1265
01:03:42,985 --> 01:03:46,019
"I wish it were. Our friendship
is based, at least on my part,
1266
01:03:46,020 --> 01:03:47,354
"in my hope that we will work out.
1267
01:03:47,355 --> 01:03:49,089
"I will be honest with you,
1268
01:03:49,090 --> 01:03:50,524
"I don't have an interest
in just being your friend,
1269
01:03:50,525 --> 01:03:52,660
"I have an interest in being your partner,
1270
01:03:52,661 --> 01:03:54,260
"I have an interest in
making sure you're happy
1271
01:03:54,261 --> 01:03:56,330
"and healthy and moving
forward in your life,
1272
01:03:56,331 --> 01:03:58,499
"but I have an interest
in doing that by your side.
1273
01:03:58,500 --> 01:04:02,102
"I'm not trying to be dramatic
or emotional, just practical.
1274
01:04:02,103 --> 01:04:05,205
"I wish more than anything
that we could be just friends,
1275
01:04:05,206 --> 01:04:07,408
"but I think at this
point, it's impossible.
1276
01:04:07,409 --> 01:04:09,276
"I need to remove you from my life.
1277
01:04:09,277 --> 01:04:12,278
"It's too difficult for me to
move forward if you are around.
1278
01:04:12,279 --> 01:04:14,548
"I'll always be grateful
for the friendship and love
1279
01:04:14,549 --> 01:04:17,718
"we were able to have."
1280
01:04:17,719 --> 01:04:20,054
GEETA: Oh, man.
1281
01:04:21,623 --> 01:04:22,856
I don't know how I could handle, like,
1282
01:04:22,857 --> 01:04:25,559
not being friends with her,
that's the toughest part for me.
1283
01:04:25,560 --> 01:04:27,696
I know it's immature on my part but like,
1284
01:04:29,797 --> 01:04:32,500
you know, like, I think I could,
1285
01:04:33,768 --> 01:04:36,437
I really think I could, I could, I could,
1286
01:04:36,438 --> 01:04:39,407
not be with her and be okay.
1287
01:04:40,475 --> 01:04:41,709
You know?
1288
01:04:41,710 --> 01:04:43,644
GEETA: Did you love her?
1289
01:04:43,645 --> 01:04:45,513
I think so, I don't really
have anything else to...
1290
01:04:45,514 --> 01:04:47,415
But yeah, I mean, like...
1291
01:04:48,449 --> 01:04:50,117
GEETA: Like, what's love?
1292
01:04:50,118 --> 01:04:52,352
I don't know what love
is, that's why, I mean.
1293
01:04:52,353 --> 01:04:54,656
I don't know. I know that, you know...
1294
01:04:56,690 --> 01:04:58,726
I know that...
1295
01:05:00,661 --> 01:05:03,430
I know that I care a lot about her
1296
01:05:03,431 --> 01:05:04,731
and she cares a lot about me
1297
01:05:04,732 --> 01:05:06,767
and we know each other inside out,
1298
01:05:09,203 --> 01:05:12,506
and, she makes me a better
person in so many ways.
1299
01:05:14,708 --> 01:05:19,280
(MUSIC PLAYING)
1300
01:05:19,281 --> 01:05:21,247
RAVI: That weekend, we went
and visited a bunch of family
1301
01:05:21,248 --> 01:05:25,185
in Iowa, and they're all,
you know, vintage Patels.
1302
01:05:25,186 --> 01:05:28,122
(MUTED CONVERSATION)
1303
01:05:28,123 --> 01:05:30,091
(SINGING BHAJANS)
1304
01:05:30,092 --> 01:05:32,325
RAVI: They all live
under the same roof
1305
01:05:32,326 --> 01:05:34,127
- as their parents with their kids.
- GEETA: Yeah.
1306
01:05:34,128 --> 01:05:37,298
RAVI: You know, in fact,
our cousins represent
1307
01:05:37,299 --> 01:05:41,301
what Mom and Dad wanted us to be.
1308
01:05:41,302 --> 01:05:44,705
(SPEAKING IN GUJARATI)
1309
01:05:44,706 --> 01:05:46,573
For both of you, it's time to get married.
1310
01:05:46,574 --> 01:05:47,841
(SPEAKING IN GUJARATI)
1311
01:05:47,842 --> 01:05:49,109
(LAUGHING)
1312
01:05:49,110 --> 01:05:51,512
(SPEAKING IN GUJARATI)
1313
01:05:51,513 --> 01:05:54,147
It said in the Scriptures
that you should marry early
1314
01:05:54,148 --> 01:05:56,617
so your mind is fixated
on a certain individual
1315
01:05:56,618 --> 01:05:58,686
before it starts fluttering away.
1316
01:06:03,725 --> 01:06:05,593
RAVI: I was looking around,
1317
01:06:05,594 --> 01:06:08,729
and our extended family represents
1318
01:06:08,730 --> 01:06:11,499
a version of life that I
always thought I would have,
1319
01:06:11,500 --> 01:06:13,466
and for the first time
I was starting to doubt
1320
01:06:13,467 --> 01:06:16,236
whether or not that's
what I'd end up with.
1321
01:06:25,246 --> 01:06:27,714
But then I was also scared of,
1322
01:06:27,715 --> 01:06:30,251
in the pursuit of all these things,
1323
01:06:30,252 --> 01:06:32,352
ending up alone.
1324
01:06:32,353 --> 01:06:34,588
I think, first thing we should talk about
1325
01:06:34,589 --> 01:06:38,191
is how much do you respect this process
1326
01:06:38,192 --> 01:06:41,729
that parents or whoever
can screen and can do it?
1327
01:06:41,730 --> 01:06:43,631
RAVI: I have a ton of respect
for the process, in fact, I...
1328
01:06:43,632 --> 01:06:45,466
Are you giving that respect
1329
01:06:45,467 --> 01:06:47,734
when we say, "Meet this girl"?
1330
01:06:47,735 --> 01:06:49,303
No, because I don't...
1331
01:06:49,304 --> 01:06:51,305
DAD: And if you don't meet,
1332
01:06:51,306 --> 01:06:55,676
if that respect is not
understood by the children
1333
01:06:55,677 --> 01:06:57,510
and children casually throw,
1334
01:06:57,511 --> 01:06:59,812
"Oh, I don't like this, I don't click."
1335
01:06:59,813 --> 01:07:01,414
That is when I tell Mom,
1336
01:07:01,415 --> 01:07:03,484
I say, "You know what, forget it,
1337
01:07:03,485 --> 01:07:05,519
"we are not going to do this."
1338
01:07:05,520 --> 01:07:10,490
Because they think we found
these online somewhere at random
1339
01:07:10,491 --> 01:07:12,325
that we don't know anything about this
1340
01:07:12,326 --> 01:07:16,196
and that we throw them because we
want to get them married in hurry
1341
01:07:16,197 --> 01:07:17,865
and we don't care who
they get married with.
1342
01:07:17,866 --> 01:07:19,566
MOM: I really believe, my prince,
1343
01:07:19,567 --> 01:07:22,769
you are not being fair to yourself.
1344
01:07:22,770 --> 01:07:25,573
You are not giving yourself enough chance,
1345
01:07:25,574 --> 01:07:28,809
you are not giving your life a fair chance.
1346
01:07:28,810 --> 01:07:30,443
It is a mindset.
1347
01:07:30,444 --> 01:07:32,479
GEETA: We don't have
the same mindset you do,
1348
01:07:32,480 --> 01:07:33,747
and honestly, I don't
even have the same mindset.
1349
01:07:33,748 --> 01:07:34,914
That is why, Geeta, you are not married,
1350
01:07:34,915 --> 01:07:36,816
and I'm telling you the reasoning.
1351
01:07:36,817 --> 01:07:40,588
If you are ready to know
that why Geeta is not married,
1352
01:07:40,589 --> 01:07:42,256
why other people are getting married
1353
01:07:42,257 --> 01:07:44,457
then I'm going to tell you
the differences, my dear,
1354
01:07:44,458 --> 01:07:48,262
that the other girls are in
the mindset to get married,
1355
01:07:48,263 --> 01:07:50,597
they don't want to just reject right away.
1356
01:07:50,598 --> 01:07:53,667
They want to get to know
people, they meet second time,
1357
01:07:53,668 --> 01:07:55,501
they talk to them on the phone,
1358
01:07:55,502 --> 01:07:57,504
they just don't go on and
on, rejecting like you,
1359
01:07:57,505 --> 01:07:59,339
"No, no, no, not this".
1360
01:07:59,340 --> 01:08:03,010
My point is not getting
married and staying single
1361
01:08:03,011 --> 01:08:05,580
is the biggest loser you can be.
1362
01:08:08,850 --> 01:08:11,585
(MUSIC ON RADIO)
1363
01:08:21,495 --> 01:08:24,632
RISHIKA: I said yes to him,
but when I did say yes...
1364
01:08:24,633 --> 01:08:27,001
I didn't say yes, I said, "Yes,
I guess", when he asked me.
1365
01:08:27,002 --> 01:08:29,436
PETE: "Yeah, I guess," you
said. You didn't say yes.
1366
01:08:29,437 --> 01:08:30,303
He's like, "Will you
marry me?" and I'm like...
1367
01:08:30,304 --> 01:08:31,571
PETE: You said, "I'm gonna throw up",
1368
01:08:31,572 --> 01:08:32,573
and then you said, "Yeah, I guess".
1369
01:08:32,574 --> 01:08:34,440
But I did marry him twice.
1370
01:08:34,441 --> 01:08:36,610
One Catholic wedding and one Sikh wedding.
1371
01:08:36,611 --> 01:08:38,378
Yeah, we did two weddings.
1372
01:08:38,379 --> 01:08:41,015
So we, that was the
beginning of our compromise.
1373
01:08:41,016 --> 01:08:43,449
Like I walked down the
aisle wearing a white dress
1374
01:08:43,450 --> 01:08:44,717
to, Here Comes the Bride,
1375
01:08:44,718 --> 01:08:46,753
like, literally, laughing the whole time
1376
01:08:46,754 --> 01:08:47,988
because I thought it was so absurd.
1377
01:08:47,989 --> 01:08:49,789
I came down a street
1378
01:08:49,790 --> 01:08:52,592
on a horse, wearing a
turban, carrying a sword.
1379
01:08:52,593 --> 01:08:56,329
Pete's Catholic, so we said
that our kids will be baptized.
1380
01:08:56,330 --> 01:08:58,599
And I negotiated the communion,
1381
01:08:58,600 --> 01:09:00,434
- but I couldn't get confirmation.
- Confirmation.
1382
01:09:00,435 --> 01:09:02,636
She said that was brainwashing. It's CCD.
1383
01:09:02,637 --> 01:09:04,305
I don't know if I said brainwashing.
1384
01:09:04,306 --> 01:09:06,573
- You said brainwashing, you really did,
- Oh, okay.
1385
01:09:06,574 --> 01:09:08,641
(LAUGHING) And quite honestly,
1386
01:09:08,642 --> 01:09:10,711
I'm still hoping we can
open up that conversation
1387
01:09:10,712 --> 01:09:12,578
and continue the negotiation down the road.
1388
01:09:12,579 --> 01:09:14,847
Honestly, I don't know
much about Catholicism.
1389
01:09:14,848 --> 01:09:16,816
- I got you 'Catholicism For Dummies.'
- I got it, I know,
1390
01:09:16,817 --> 01:09:18,851
I haven't finished reading my
'Catholicism For Dummies.'
1391
01:09:18,852 --> 01:09:21,321
We don't thank Jesus, we thank God.
1392
01:09:21,322 --> 01:09:23,089
- We thank God, because we both share God...
- 'Cause Jesus isn't God really.
1393
01:09:23,090 --> 01:09:24,624
You have Guru Nanak, I have Jesus.
1394
01:09:24,625 --> 01:09:26,894
But see they're gurus,
both Jesus and Guru Nanak,
1395
01:09:26,895 --> 01:09:28,861
They're both gurus, they're not Gods.
1396
01:09:28,862 --> 01:09:30,631
Dude, you can't call Jesus a guru.
1397
01:09:30,632 --> 01:09:33,268
- I think he's...
- He's not a guru.
1398
01:09:37,105 --> 01:09:42,776
♪ Have yourself a merry
little Christmas ♪
1399
01:09:45,480 --> 01:09:47,815
AUTOMATED VOICE: You
have no messages.
1400
01:09:47,816 --> 01:09:52,587
♪ Let your heart be light
1401
01:09:57,491 --> 01:10:00,027
♪ From now on
1402
01:10:01,362 --> 01:10:05,466
♪ Our troubles will
be out of sight ♪
1403
01:10:05,467 --> 01:10:08,770
(LAUGHTER)
1404
01:10:10,504 --> 01:10:13,708
(AUDREY AND FRIENDS SINGING)
1405
01:10:24,017 --> 01:10:26,520
DAD: Isn't this a cute picture, Ravi?
1406
01:10:26,521 --> 01:10:28,822
(RAVI SPEAKING)
1407
01:10:36,931 --> 01:10:40,601
(DAD SPEAKING)
1408
01:10:47,709 --> 01:10:49,642
RAVI: Have you guys ever
considered getting a clothesline?
1409
01:10:49,643 --> 01:10:51,779
DAD: Why do you think we can
afford a million dollar house?
1410
01:10:51,780 --> 01:10:54,115
Because we don't waste money.
1411
01:10:56,151 --> 01:10:58,753
(LAUGHS)
1412
01:11:00,621 --> 01:11:01,687
RAVI: I love this picture.
1413
01:11:01,688 --> 01:11:03,990
This is like the closest
1414
01:11:03,991 --> 01:11:05,626
an Indian picture ever gets to kissing.
1415
01:11:05,627 --> 01:11:07,194
(MOM LAUGHS)
1416
01:11:07,195 --> 01:11:10,163
DAD: This would be considered
obscene by some people.
1417
01:11:10,164 --> 01:11:12,466
DAD: Geeta. Hey, this is Geeta.
1418
01:11:12,467 --> 01:11:15,870
(LAUGHING) And this is
Geeta. And this is Geeta.
1419
01:11:19,574 --> 01:11:21,507
(SIGHS)
1420
01:11:21,508 --> 01:11:24,444
I waited until you left for the gym,
1421
01:11:24,445 --> 01:11:26,512
because I knew we could
not do this on camera,
1422
01:11:26,513 --> 01:11:29,016
and I didn't want to run
the risk of you being around.
1423
01:11:29,017 --> 01:11:30,784
So, Mom and Dad were
both in the kitchen,
1424
01:11:30,785 --> 01:11:33,553
Mom was cooking, Dad
was reading at a table.
1425
01:11:33,554 --> 01:11:36,789
And I just sat down, and I said,
1426
01:11:36,790 --> 01:11:41,061
"Hey, I need to tell you
guys something. (EXHALES)
1427
01:11:41,062 --> 01:11:43,997
"And I don't know any
other way to say this,
1428
01:11:43,998 --> 01:11:46,199
"but before we went to India,
1429
01:11:46,200 --> 01:11:49,669
"I had been dating this
girl for two years.
1430
01:11:49,670 --> 01:11:51,971
"And I never told you about
her and I'm sorry about that.
1431
01:11:51,972 --> 01:11:53,906
"But we broke up just
before the trip."
1432
01:11:53,907 --> 01:11:56,577
Then Dad looks up,
and asks "Well, wait,
1433
01:11:56,578 --> 01:11:59,779
"so all this bio-data
stuff, this was a lie?"
1434
01:11:59,780 --> 01:12:01,714
I told him,
1435
01:12:01,715 --> 01:12:04,117
"No, we broke up, but every
time I went on a date,
1436
01:12:04,118 --> 01:12:07,253
"I think I was comparing
them to Audrey."
1437
01:12:07,254 --> 01:12:10,123
Mom was just staring at the floor.
1438
01:12:10,124 --> 01:12:14,127
And then, she goes, "Well,
do you still love her?"
1439
01:12:14,128 --> 01:12:17,764
And I just said, "I don't know."
1440
01:12:19,601 --> 01:12:21,701
And then, that's when you came home.
1441
01:12:43,657 --> 01:12:46,092
GEETA: Dad, how's your
trip going? Turn around.
1442
01:12:46,093 --> 01:12:48,729
DAD: Trip is going terrific.
1443
01:12:48,730 --> 01:12:51,565
We are having great time, Geeta.
1444
01:12:51,566 --> 01:12:53,468
Very good time.
1445
01:12:55,003 --> 01:12:57,638
GEETA: Mom, how's your trip going?
1446
01:13:00,674 --> 01:13:02,677
(MOM SPEAKING)
1447
01:13:07,581 --> 01:13:10,150
Mom, the way I look at the way
you're handling this right now,
1448
01:13:10,151 --> 01:13:13,888
is... I consider the way you're handling
this... Put that camera down right now!
1449
01:13:18,860 --> 01:13:19,959
(DAD SPEAKING INDISTINTCLY)
1450
01:13:19,960 --> 01:13:21,862
RAVI: There's a mature way...
1451
01:13:36,244 --> 01:13:38,513
(MOM SPEAKING)
1452
01:13:51,926 --> 01:13:54,761
(DAD SPEAKING)
1453
01:13:54,762 --> 01:13:56,764
(MOM SPEAKING)
1454
01:14:15,016 --> 01:14:17,018
DAD: I know your mom.
1455
01:14:18,252 --> 01:14:21,989
And you know how great a person she is.
1456
01:14:21,990 --> 01:14:24,791
She is emotionally just...
1457
01:14:24,792 --> 01:14:27,793
Taken away, and she is very emotional.
1458
01:14:27,794 --> 01:14:29,696
And she'll come around.
1459
01:14:36,004 --> 01:14:38,872
I really trust both of
you guys for the decisions.
1460
01:14:38,873 --> 01:14:40,774
I may disagree,
1461
01:14:40,775 --> 01:14:42,976
I may do different things,
1462
01:14:42,977 --> 01:14:45,412
but who are we that we always
know what is right, you know?
1463
01:14:45,413 --> 01:14:47,848
We don't know always what is right.
1464
01:14:50,785 --> 01:14:53,787
RAVI: After I told them
about Audrey, they were...
1465
01:14:53,788 --> 01:14:55,655
In shock.
1466
01:14:55,656 --> 01:14:57,089
You know, Dad was coping with
it, we were communicating,
1467
01:14:57,090 --> 01:14:59,292
but with Mom, it got really bad.
1468
01:14:59,293 --> 01:15:01,828
GEETA: She barely spoke
with you during that time.
1469
01:15:01,829 --> 01:15:06,132
Her and I couldn't seem to
communicate, and I don't...
1470
01:15:06,133 --> 01:15:09,336
I mean, I don't think it was coincidental,
I mean, we just started fighting.
1471
01:15:09,337 --> 01:15:12,672
About everything, like, little things,
1472
01:15:12,673 --> 01:15:15,876
and I was home one day and...
1473
01:15:15,877 --> 01:15:17,778
I just kind of sat her down and I was like,
1474
01:15:17,779 --> 01:15:20,413
"What is this, what's happening?"
1475
01:15:20,414 --> 01:15:23,216
I was like, "I don't understand, like
I feel like I can't make you happy
1476
01:15:23,217 --> 01:15:28,188
"with anything I do, and I just
don't feel like I'm your son anymore."
1477
01:15:30,758 --> 01:15:37,364
She says, "You know, it's not that
you might not marry an Indian girl.
1478
01:15:37,365 --> 01:15:40,367
"It's that you lied to me for so long.
1479
01:15:40,368 --> 01:15:42,268
"That you could do that."
1480
01:15:45,072 --> 01:15:47,708
And I just said I was sorry,
1481
01:15:49,710 --> 01:15:52,079
and that I won't lie to you again.
1482
01:15:54,382 --> 01:15:56,016
GEETA: Okay.
1483
01:15:56,017 --> 01:15:57,918
GEETA: All right. Okay?
1484
01:15:57,919 --> 01:15:59,920
RAVI: Okay.
1485
01:16:07,160 --> 01:16:09,863
GEETA: I used to think that the
way I was feeling, my struggle,
1486
01:16:09,864 --> 01:16:11,464
was because of them.
1487
01:16:11,465 --> 01:16:14,101
And then one day they came to
visit me and I started crying,
1488
01:16:14,102 --> 01:16:15,869
I was just like, you know,
1489
01:16:15,870 --> 01:16:17,971
"I don't even date any guys,
1490
01:16:17,972 --> 01:16:22,007
"I don't do anything, and I feel
so... Like my hands are tied."
1491
01:16:22,008 --> 01:16:24,010
I said, "I feel like I
have to marry an Indian."
1492
01:16:24,011 --> 01:16:26,312
Dad stopped me and he said,
1493
01:16:26,313 --> 01:16:29,449
"I want you to know that
no matter what you do,
1494
01:16:29,450 --> 01:16:32,785
"we love you and we'll accept it."
1495
01:16:32,786 --> 01:16:36,123
And he said, "Nothing matters
more to me than you being happy."
1496
01:16:38,325 --> 01:16:40,159
I thought that I would feel different.
1497
01:16:40,160 --> 01:16:44,030
I thought that I would feel
like the weight had been lifted.
1498
01:16:45,098 --> 01:16:48,101
And when I drove home,
the weight was still there.
1499
01:16:48,102 --> 01:16:51,872
And I realized that it
wasn't them, it was me.
1500
01:16:51,873 --> 01:16:53,140
I was scared
1501
01:16:53,141 --> 01:16:57,044
that if I married a white guy,
even if it was okay with them,
1502
01:16:58,445 --> 01:17:01,214
that somehow, I would
be letting myself down.
1503
01:17:05,085 --> 01:17:07,021
(MOM AND RAVI SPEAKING)
1504
01:17:15,396 --> 01:17:17,497
Don't give me too much food, Mom.
1505
01:17:17,498 --> 01:17:18,964
Okay.
1506
01:17:18,965 --> 01:17:23,003
You want vaal, my prince? You want chole?
1507
01:17:23,004 --> 01:17:25,204
GEETA: Mom, you're like a
traveling... You're like a food truck.
1508
01:17:25,205 --> 01:17:26,071
Like world hunger progr...
1509
01:17:26,072 --> 01:17:28,142
(DAD SPEAKING)
1510
01:17:29,410 --> 01:17:31,912
- Ten minutes, okay.
- You want tuvaro?
1511
01:17:31,913 --> 01:17:34,181
- Mmm. Yeah.
- Tuvaro? Okay.
1512
01:17:34,182 --> 01:17:37,117
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
1513
01:17:37,118 --> 01:17:39,485
You want samosas?
1514
01:17:39,486 --> 01:17:40,486
GEETA: No, I'm okay right now.
1515
01:17:40,487 --> 01:17:43,088
You're okay, so I'm
giving you samosas then.
1516
01:17:43,089 --> 01:17:46,226
Give her some, okay? Because
I know she will like it.
1517
01:17:48,963 --> 01:17:51,030
DAD: Ravi...
1518
01:17:51,031 --> 01:17:52,399
This whole year...
1519
01:17:52,400 --> 01:17:57,604
You met different girls from all over,
1520
01:17:57,605 --> 01:18:01,776
and I really want to know,
what have you learned?
1521
01:18:05,913 --> 01:18:07,948
You know, when we were
doing this, you know,
1522
01:18:07,949 --> 01:18:13,319
it was very much about
finding that Patel girl,
1523
01:18:13,320 --> 01:18:16,489
but I honestly, like, I
don't... after doing all this,
1524
01:18:16,490 --> 01:18:21,026
the one thing I feel like I've learned
is that I don't... I don't need that.
1525
01:18:21,027 --> 01:18:24,163
You know? I mean, I still
want that, but I don't need...
1526
01:18:24,164 --> 01:18:25,899
DAD: What do you mean?
1527
01:18:25,900 --> 01:18:28,268
Well, like, I don't need her to be...
1528
01:18:29,603 --> 01:18:32,873
- DAD: Indian.
- Yeah, I don't need her to be Indian.
1529
01:18:35,375 --> 01:18:37,343
RAVI: Mom, what would you think?
1530
01:18:37,344 --> 01:18:40,212
Mom, what would you think if I ended
up with a girl who wasn't Indian,
1531
01:18:40,213 --> 01:18:44,016
but she's Indian in
every way that you want?
1532
01:18:44,017 --> 01:18:46,653
She has a beautiful family and
she's a family-oriented person,
1533
01:18:46,654 --> 01:18:49,989
and she loves me and she loves you guys.
1534
01:18:49,990 --> 01:18:52,458
If she learns how to cook Indian food
with you and you love hanging out with her?
1535
01:18:52,459 --> 01:18:55,662
Are you cool with it?
1536
01:18:55,663 --> 01:18:58,065
Are you cool with her
just not being Indian?
1537
01:19:04,371 --> 01:19:10,075
I would just love whoever you
fall in love with, my dear.
1538
01:19:10,076 --> 01:19:13,279
- I would be just happy...
- DAD: I would be happy.
1539
01:19:13,280 --> 01:19:15,448
...the one you find.
1540
01:19:17,618 --> 01:19:21,354
- And I mean it, too.
- So, Ravi...
1541
01:19:21,355 --> 01:19:24,924
I just want you to get
married now. Seriously.
1542
01:19:29,696 --> 01:19:33,999
DAD: Bottom line is, go and get married.
1543
01:19:34,000 --> 01:19:36,035
Make a decision.
1544
01:19:38,338 --> 01:19:42,042
Time is running by...
1545
01:19:42,043 --> 01:19:43,944
(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)
1546
01:19:59,459 --> 01:20:01,427
DAD: Let me tell you one thing,
1547
01:20:01,428 --> 01:20:03,596
with the girl you get married,
1548
01:20:03,597 --> 01:20:06,199
you will never know her enough.
1549
01:20:06,200 --> 01:20:08,068
Never know enough.
1550
01:20:08,069 --> 01:20:10,971
Even after 35 years of marriage...
1551
01:20:10,972 --> 01:20:13,739
- MOM: He still doesn't know me.
- DAD: It's still a discovery.
1552
01:20:13,740 --> 01:20:16,642
So if you think, "I
want to know her enough,"
1553
01:20:16,643 --> 01:20:21,146
that's an impo... that's why you get married,
and that's the fun of getting married,
1554
01:20:21,147 --> 01:20:22,983
because you keep discovering.
1555
01:20:22,984 --> 01:20:25,284
RAVI: Yeah.
1556
01:20:25,285 --> 01:20:27,721
You know, after 35
years we tell each other,
1557
01:20:27,722 --> 01:20:29,722
"Oh, you don't understand me."
1558
01:20:29,723 --> 01:20:33,293
Now, after 35 years,
I don't understand her.
1559
01:20:33,294 --> 01:20:35,160
You're gonna know somebody in two years?
1560
01:20:35,161 --> 01:20:37,297
(LAUGHTER)
1561
01:20:37,298 --> 01:20:38,731
I do, I tell him that.
1562
01:20:38,732 --> 01:20:41,001
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
1563
01:20:41,002 --> 01:20:42,769
- GEETA: What do you say, Mom?
- DAD: And you know what, Ravi? After 35 years...
1564
01:20:42,770 --> 01:20:44,203
RAVI: She goes, "I do, I tell him that."
1565
01:20:44,204 --> 01:20:46,705
DAD: Ravi, after 35 years...
1566
01:20:46,706 --> 01:20:48,341
She's still trying to change me.
1567
01:20:48,342 --> 01:20:51,144
(LAUGHTER)
1568
01:20:51,145 --> 01:20:53,379
- And I keep telling her.
- MOM: And you, too!
1569
01:20:53,380 --> 01:20:55,382
- Let's not have one way here.
- DAD: Okay.
1570
01:20:55,383 --> 01:20:56,682
- So...
- Thank you.
1571
01:20:56,683 --> 01:20:57,717
(LAUGHTER)
1572
01:20:57,718 --> 01:20:59,785
Every day,
1573
01:20:59,786 --> 01:21:01,687
"You should have done that," and,
"You should be not doing this,"
1574
01:21:01,688 --> 01:21:04,356
and he should be doing this,
I should not be doing this.
1575
01:21:04,357 --> 01:21:05,792
RAVI: And how do you handle this?
1576
01:21:05,793 --> 01:21:07,193
And I'm like, "Go to sleep."
1577
01:21:07,194 --> 01:21:10,029
(LAUGHTER)
1578
01:21:10,030 --> 01:21:11,731
That's right.
1579
01:21:14,200 --> 01:21:16,035
(L-O-V-E
SONG PLAYING)
1580
01:21:16,036 --> 01:21:21,474
♪ L is for the way you look at me
1581
01:21:21,475 --> 01:21:27,814
♪ O is for the only one I see
1582
01:21:27,815 --> 01:21:32,819
♪ V is very, very
extraordinary ♪
1583
01:21:32,820 --> 01:21:35,454
RAVI: Let me catch you up to speed.
1584
01:21:35,455 --> 01:21:37,289
In December, I broke up with Audrey.
1585
01:21:37,290 --> 01:21:38,757
He needs therapy.
1586
01:21:38,758 --> 01:21:41,528
I then went to India,
then back to America,
1587
01:21:41,529 --> 01:21:42,428
then did some bio-dating...
1588
01:21:42,429 --> 01:21:43,596
Don't do anything sneaky with the camera.
1589
01:21:43,597 --> 01:21:45,364
...Internet dating,
1590
01:21:45,365 --> 01:21:46,231
marriage conventions...
1591
01:21:46,232 --> 01:21:47,300
Meow!
1592
01:21:47,301 --> 01:21:48,635
...and weddings.
1593
01:21:48,636 --> 01:21:50,669
Don't be shy, talk to her, man.
1594
01:21:50,670 --> 01:21:54,606
The next December, I told
my parents the truth.
1595
01:21:54,607 --> 01:21:58,110
In March, I started yet
another dating system.
1596
01:21:58,111 --> 01:22:00,814
The "Ravi dates whoever makes him happy,
kind of like a normal person" system.
1597
01:22:00,815 --> 01:22:02,082
Um...
1598
01:22:02,083 --> 01:22:03,316
I think part of the problem
1599
01:22:03,317 --> 01:22:04,751
was I was carrying this
picture around in my head
1600
01:22:04,752 --> 01:22:06,319
of who I was going to marry,
1601
01:22:06,320 --> 01:22:09,056
when really, that's
just not how it works.
1602
01:22:11,725 --> 01:22:14,394
It was time to just allow the world
to put that picture together for me.
1603
01:22:14,395 --> 01:22:16,096
And it worked.
1604
01:22:16,097 --> 01:22:18,263
I found the girl that
I really, really liked,
1605
01:22:18,264 --> 01:22:20,566
and for the first time I could
see what I really wanted.
1606
01:22:20,567 --> 01:22:23,869
I liked her, and I had to
beg her to like me back.
1607
01:22:23,870 --> 01:22:25,404
GEETA: You really begged.
1608
01:22:25,405 --> 01:22:27,039
RAVI: Well, it was the only option.
1609
01:22:27,040 --> 01:22:27,606
- GEETA: Like, you really begged.
- RAVI: Yeah, we get it. Okay.
1610
01:22:27,607 --> 01:22:30,577
You really begged.
1611
01:22:30,578 --> 01:22:31,578
Do you want me to say something?
1612
01:22:31,579 --> 01:22:33,580
(LAUGHTER)
1613
01:22:43,557 --> 01:22:45,624
RAVI: It was great, I was
starting a relationship truthfully
1614
01:22:45,625 --> 01:22:47,560
for the first time.
1615
01:22:47,561 --> 01:22:50,762
And just letting it be
whatever it was going to be.
1616
01:22:50,763 --> 01:22:54,333
That said, Mom and Dad still didn't
understand the concept of dating.
1617
01:22:54,334 --> 01:22:56,335
(MOM AND DAD SPEAKING)
1618
01:23:08,214 --> 01:23:09,382
- Okay. Geeta!
- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)
1619
01:23:09,383 --> 01:23:12,252
Can you stop the camera now, Geeta?
1620
01:23:12,253 --> 01:23:14,186
RAVI: Yeah, turn that
off, please. It just...
1621
01:23:14,187 --> 01:23:16,690
Yeah, Geeta, there's no reason for it now.
1622
01:23:19,893 --> 01:23:22,463
(POP MUSIC PLAYING)
1623
01:23:34,475 --> 01:23:35,807
Oh, my God!
1624
01:23:35,808 --> 01:23:37,510
RAVI: How did it go?
1625
01:23:37,511 --> 01:23:39,413
(RAVI AND GEETA SPEAKING)
1626
01:23:41,382 --> 01:23:43,216
RAVI: Just be yourself!
1627
01:23:43,217 --> 01:23:45,318
What's the big deal? It's just a camera!
1628
01:23:45,319 --> 01:23:48,288
How does it make you feel? Dad, tell me,
1629
01:23:48,289 --> 01:23:50,789
how does it make you feel
that Geeta just went on a date?
1630
01:23:50,790 --> 01:23:52,592
Geeta, tell me, what is love?
1631
01:23:52,593 --> 01:23:53,793
(LAUGHING)
1632
01:23:53,794 --> 01:23:56,196
(POP MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING)
1633
01:23:56,197 --> 01:23:58,197
Sync and corrections by explosiveskull
www.addic7ed.com
1634
01:26:13,734 --> 01:26:15,968
(SWING MUSIC PLAYING)